Aed jokes
A man bought a brand new iPhone but returned it, why?
The apple was already bitten.
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? A hooker can wash her crack and resell it.
What do you call an Asian? A-chan.
I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. A week later, he told me it was the most violent book he ever read.
I almost secretly married a watermelon, but I cantaloupe.
Did you hear about the guy who got electrocuted?
It was quite a shocker.
What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just WAVED. Can you SEA what I did there? I'm SHORE you did. Why are you so SALTY? Don't be a BEACH.
What do you call someone who takes care of chickens?
A chicken tender.
What do you call it when you drop a bottle of food dye?
"It's dye-ing."
Your mama so stupid, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.
How does a crazy person get to the woods?
He takes the psychopath.
What do you call a gun that doesn't kill anyone?
- A VEGUN.
What is a definition of tight?
A. Putting a blind man in a round room and saying, "Your dinner's in the corner."
Hello there, have a good day!
How do you find a redneck virgin?
Just look for a 4-year-old. They can run faster than her brothers.
What's thick and has ice in it when you take it out of a blender?
A baby smoothie.
I googled "How to start a wildfire." I got 48,500 matches.
A rooster ran across the border from the USA to Canada and laid an egg. Which country does that egg belong to?
Roosters don't lay eggs.
I asked my midget neighbor if he wanted a lift. He told me to "Fuck off!!!" I thought, what a cheeky cunt and zipped my backpack up and walked away.
What weapon does a fat Jedi use?
A heavy saber.