Aed jokes
Curiosity killed the cat.
But for a while, I was a suspect.
How do crazy people get through a forest?
They take the psycho-path!
What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison?
A small medium at large!
What did Mario say when he broke up with Princess Peach?
It's not you, it's a-me, Mario!
What do you get when you insert human DNA into a goat? Banned from the petting zoo!
I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
What is the difference between a banana and a helicopter? Neither of them is a police officer.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered 6 offender.
What store has the most vegetables?
A nursing home.
When I was little, I would pray to Jesus every night for him to get me a new bike. I learned one week in Sunday school that that's not how it works, so instead I just stole one and asked him for forgiveness.
A man was having a dream. He dreamt about a mystical creature that was commonly known as the god of toast.
When the man woke up, he turned to tell his wife about the dream. When he delivers the "toast god" punchline, his wife shrugged as she faced the opposite direction to the man.
The man turned around also and started sobbing as he realised his marriage is in shambles.
What do you call fallen water? A waterfall.
Why did Jake cross the road? To get a Hagen Daz bar.
Who do you call in times of a marriage crisis?
A prostitute, because your wife fucking sucks.
What's the difference between a Mexican and a book?
The book has papers.
Here's a joke: Your life.
What did one negative say to the other negative? Together we can make a positive.
Never trust a Justin, he is made up of atoms that make up everything.
What did the atom say to the positive in math class? "We could make a positive number!"