Aed jokes
He asked for a shot of beer?
He got shot and killed.
I went to a seafood shop.
I pulled a muscle.
How is being gay like a geology class? You can lick all the rocks you want.
Two skeleton brothers are talking.
1st bro: "Hey, get up! You and do some exercise! You are so heavy, you weigh a ton!"
2nd bro: "A skele-TON :)"
How to make a baby make funny faces?
Put it feet first in a blender.
How do you fit 15 babies into a shoe box?
A blender.
How do you get them out of the shoe box? A straw.
Yo mama is so stupid, she shoved two double A batteries up her butt and said, “I’ve got the power!”
What do you call a person with no arms or legs at your front door? Mat.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russel.
What objects have the most gravitational force?
A Lambo and a gold digger.
I heard a pretty juicy rumor about butter, but I decided I didn't want to spread it.
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
Snowballs.
Dark humor is a lot like food.
Not everyone gets it.
What do a pedophile and a clock have in common? Neither of them go past 12.
What can a mouse do?
He clicks.
What did the man say to the woman? "Make me a sandwich."
What's worse than sucking a dozen raw oysters out of your grandmother's cunt?
Putting in 12 and sucking out 13.
My daughter said I could never make a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!
I ate a time machine once, it was very time-consuming. Especially when I went back four seconds.
How do you stay warm in a cold room?
You go to the corners. It's always 90 degrees.