Aed jokes

Are you a lightbulb, cuz you brighten up my day?

What's the difference between a cat and a banana? It's hard to peel a cat.

Two brothers were arguing. One went: "You're an idiot!"

The other went: "Your brother's a mother!"

He replied: "Yeah, I know. Thanks for agreeing with me."

A sheep, a snake, and a drum fell off of a cliff.

Baa- Dum- Tsss!

My man is a pussy cunt that sucks my dick.

Joke's on him, he just asked me for bobs and vegana.

A guy went to the doctor and told him that whenever he drinks a cup of tea, his eye hurts. The doctor brought him a cup and asked him to drink. When he finished, the doctor told him: "From now on, take off the spoon."

What do you get when you stuff some cows into a food container?

A can o' bull.

I’m reading a book about Anti-Gravity. It’s impossible to put down!

What do terrorists do on 9/11? They have a game of Jenga.

A woman ran into a police station screaming, "Help, I have been graped!" The policeman said, "Do you mean raped?" The woman said, "No, there was a bunch of them!"

So, we are in class right, and the teacher has a metal leg. Every year she gets the question of, "Do metal detectors beep every time you walk by them?" She heard this question to the point where she just says yes without hesitation.

Once she had said yes, two kids in the back started laughing.

Teacher: Ok alright, take it a little bit more seriously would you?

Kid: Oh, we're not laughing at that.

Kid_2: We're laughing at cancer.

How do you make a tissue dance?

You put a little boogie in it.

Why did the man decide to work at a pizza place?

Because he kneaded the dough!

I accidentally drank a little food coloring last night. I ended up dying inside.

My dog was hungry, so I let him loose outside while I filled his bowl.

I found out later that he was run over by a truck. It seemed to really hit the Spot.

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.

When your husband can’t afford a punching bag, he uses his wife.

How many times do you tickle a squid before it laughs?

TEN-TICKLES

Why is it called a building if it's already built?

There was a guy who got his entire left side cut off. Don’t worry, he is all right now.