Aed jokes
What do a girl and a bar have in common?
A- Liquor in the front, poker in the back!
Why is it so hard to make a party on Earth?
Because you need to planet.
A horse says to the other horse, "Are you hot?"
The other horse says, "Ahhhh, a house that talks!"
What did Saskia say to Brandon?
Saskia: "Can you rape me like you did Sydney?"
What has 2 legs, 2 arms, and an abusive father?
Aaron.
If a pregnant woman is under water, isn't she technically a submarine?
What has 4 legs and 1 arm?
A pitbull in a children's play area.
What did the Canadian say when a guy shot his beaver?
"It is ok, I forgive you."
How old is uuuuuurrrr mom?
Five.
Cringe.... I know that was a crap joke... not even a joke.
Once, there was a Minecraft child molester on the Minecraft Facebook. He asks a kid his age. The kid blocks him.
How did Rihanna know that Chris Brown was cheating on her? There was a different color of lipstick on his knuckles.
Why did the boy drop his ice cream?
He got hit by a bus.
Stephen Hawking isn't actually dead. He is just having an update.
That was a horrible pun. You should be sent to the PUN-itentiary!
There was a fancy dress party; the theme was emotions.
One guy came dressed in green, and he was envy; another person came dressed in red, and she was anger; another guy came dressed in blue, and he was sadness. Two Indians came, one came with a hole in a pear and his d*** was in the pear, said he was deep in dis"pear." The other Indian came with his d*** in custard, and he said he was f***ing dicustard!
What is a similarity between a pregnant 14-year-old and the fetus inside of her?
They both are thinking, "Shit! Mom is gonna kill me!"
20 years of sex in the dark, the wife finds out he was using a dildo. The wife gets angry and says, "Explain the dildo, prick." The husband says, "Explain the children, bitch."
One day a skeleton never worked. Everyone called him lazybones.
One day, a skeleton wasn't laughing. Someone asked him why he was not laughing. It turns out he fell and broke his bone, his funny bone that is.
What do you call a magic owl?
HOOdini