Aed jokes
Q. What do you call a gun that rapes someone?
A. An assault rifle.
An Irishman walks out of a bar.
Is Stephen Hawking a physicist now?
No, because he is dead.
A man asks a woman, "Are you a school?"
The woman replies, "No, why?"
The man says, "Oh, I wanted to shoot my kid inside of you."
I am throwing a party in space. Can you help me planet?
I was out for dinner with my 19 year old girlfriend. I, being 42, had many people shouting at me, scolding me, calling me a creep. It really ruined our 10th anniversary.
How does a butcher keep his tent up in the wind? Steaks.
If you are going to make fun of someone, make fun of orphans. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
Double whammy.
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer, it never gets old.
Your mum is so fat, she gets hit by a parked car!
You're so lucky bullies don't have a chance to push you around anymore?
They'll get theirs when they're in a wheelchair?
What bounces up and down at 100 miles per hour?
A baby tied to the back of a pick up truck.
The reason why the "eating a tide pod" trend ended so fast is because everyone that did it died.
Why did the doorbell have a good sense of humor?
Because it got everybody's pokes!
A man walked into a fleshlight and died.
What type of bee makes milk?
A boobee.
Looks like I lost an electron, I should keep a better ion them.
My friends say they don’t like my skeleton puns.
I should put a little more backbone into them.
I am a big fan of whiteboards. I find them quite re-markable.
My friend had a drink called Quick Start, so I said, "That's a quick start to the morning!"
What do a "transgender" woman's favorite song and his/her last online order have in common?
~they're both a dick in a box.