Aed jokes
My grandfather says I'm too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
Me: No one likes Shrek; he is just a fat green guy.
Friend: Hey! Stop talking about me.
What do you call a dabbing cow?
Udder savagery.
When I was in high school, me and my friends would play with this girl who had Down syndrome.
We would get into a circle around her and say, "Nightmare, nightmare!"
Stage 4 cancer is like a woman. You can’t beat it, but if you do, she’ll probably come back again.
So a mushroom walks in a bar and the waiter says, "You can't be here."
And the mushroom says, "Why? I'm a fungi!"
What do you call those dead pieces of green stuff left in the bottom of a bowl of Caesar salad?
The last romaines. Now lettuce pray for them.
Yo mamma so stupid when a robber stole her TV, she ran after him saying, "You forgot the remote!"
Q: Why couldn’t Poe Dameron find his sandwich?
A: Because BB-8 it.
Ya it's bad:)
Q: What did Darth Vader say to his smashed wristwatch?
A: I find your lack of face disturbing.
Q: How do you know a wishing well works?
A: If your mother-in-law falls down it.
What do you get when you cross a Muslim in a trench coat and a duffel bag?
A sad news story.
Me: Have you seen a Mr. Weewoo?
Most people: No.
Me: He drives the ambulance downstairs.
What does the cell ride to work?
A vesicle.
There is only one thing I have to give my enemies.
A bucket full of dead baby heads and semen so they can replenish their spawn.
The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick, but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn't talking to me.
I ate some gunpowder once. It was an exploding experience.
A Chinese boy never met his parents after they were killed in WW2, so when he learned where they were buried, he quickly rushed there.
He sat down in front of their graves and prayed, "I want to see your face again, mommy..." A miracle happened; his mother rose up from the graves and hugged him.
The boy cried then said, "I want to see you too, dad." He looked at his father's grave, but nothing happened.
Suddenly, a Japanese soldier came up behind him and asked, "Were you looking for me?"
Stephen is lucky he doesn’t need a vibrator.
He’s got himself.
Walking's a chore, let alone crawling.