Aed jokes
My mom gave me a golden shovel and a hoe. I said, "Why do I need this?" She said, "That you every year."
Q: What did the cannibal say to the leper?
A: You gonna eat that?
A Mexican boy said, "I can't do this." Then a guy says, "You can do it, we are Mexican, not Mexicant."
Spock went to the Enterprise's toilet and he knocked on it. "Kirk, are you in there?" Spock asked.
Kirk answered, "Hold on, I am making a captain's log."
What is a baby's favorite song?
"Baby" by Justin Bieber.
Him: I work with animals all day.
Her: Awwww what do you do?
Him: I'm a pornstar.
What's the difference between a boy and gold?
More people want gold.
Sans: I like eating ketchup, don't believe me? It's ASRIEL as it gets!
UT Sans to UT pap: You FORGHETTIE the spaghetti!!!
Ink sans: umm lust? That's INKAPPROPRIATE!
Fell sans: I hate these double standards...if you burn a body at a crematorium you're doing "a good job," do it at home and your "destroying evidence."
Error sans: Every time you make a typo, the errorists win.
My dad told me I'm a failure.
I failed a math test.
Good thing there's a pole outside my house.
What's the difference between Mark Zuckerberg and a lizard?
There is no difference.
What’s the difference between a bullet and a prostitute? They both burst a barrel.
Breaking News! A plane crashes into a bridge.
What's the difference between a noodle and a scaboodle fladooodle?
The teacher asked, "Why are you in school on a Saturday?"
I told her my mum told me to go to hell.
What did the ankle say to the doorman?
You are a nonsense.
How can you tell if Google is a girl?
It makes suggestions before you finish your sentence!
How do you tell the difference between a Communist and everybody else? The way they are spelled.
What's the difference between a skeleton and a baby? I don't set the skeleton on fire.
There's a difference between my brother and Stephen Hawking.
At least Stephen Hawking does something.
What’s the difference between a mosquito and a blonde?
The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.