Aed jokes
What is it called when a cow sings? A lawsuit.
What do you call a skeleton with no arms? An un-armed skeleton.
How do you get a Japanese fanclub?
Walk around with a bundle of gas masks!
There was a math teacher on a plane that crashed. What was the last thing that went through their head?
A pentagon!
(9/11 joke)
I've been going to the dentist for a while now, I know the drill.
What turns green to red in a flick of a switch?
A frog in a blender.
Three gay guys walk into a bar.
There is only one stool left, what do they do?
They flip the stool over.
What do you call a skeleton with no bones? A boneless boy.
What's the difference between me and a bus?
I'm not on fire...
What’s the difference between a Ferrari and a sack of dead babies?
I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.
My sister has cows, and after 4 months, she said there was a mis-steak.
A gay couple and a lesbian couple are going to the airport, which one gets there first? The lesbian, duh, they get there "lickety-split."
What do you call a gay cactus?
A "prick."
A teacher gives her kindergarten students four flavors of lifesavers, and they have to guess the flavors. The students guess cherry, lime, and orange. They don't know the last flavor. So, the teacher gives them a hint and says, "It's what your parents call each other." [honey] But a little girl shouts and says, "OMG, they're assholes."
Me: Happy birthday! I got you a Rubix cube! Friend: I hate you. Me: Why? Friend: I'm color blind.
I read a story about a rabbit being raised. It was a hare-raising tale!
Me holding a new cat: Say hi to my little friend!
My friends: Hi to my little friend!
Kasper has a tiny penis.
What’s the difference between an orphan and a watermelon? One of them is fun to hit with a sledge hammer and the other one is just a watermelon.
A pedophile brings his eight-year-old daughter to the doctor's office. The doctor asked her if she would like some candy? Her father replies, "Please, no more candy for her. I gave her enough today."