Aed jokes
A boat carrying red paint and a boat carrying blue paint crashed into each other. The crews were marooned.
What do lesbians do when they have a problem? They finger it out.
If life was like Pacific Rim, I'd say your mom's pussy was a category 5.
Where’s the best place to put a Christmas tree?
In between Christmas two and Christmas four. 😉😂😂
Why did Jerry fall off the moon?
Because he got hit by a fridge.
Mary Poppins went to a restaurant and ordered cheese, eggs, and cauliflower. When she left, she had written something in the complaint box: "Super cauliflower, eggs, but cheese was quite atrocious." (Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious)
The shovel was a groundbreaking invention.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get ran over by a truck.
When you think your mom's a virgin, then you stumble into the wrong closet.
It’s not rape if she’s a dead bear and I lost my job at the circus.
What do you call a girl with no legs? Sarah.
What do you call an Olympic gold medalist skiing? Not Sarah.
Q: What do you call a religious Wookie?
A: Jewbacca.
"Kill yourself. Stop thinking whether or not to do it, you dumb fucking cunt, no one likes you. Jump off a fucking 3 story building, bitch."
Wanna hear a racist joke?...
Donald Trump.
Three women were in heaven. The angel at the gates said, "How good the ride into heaven is for you, is determined by your commitment to your most recent partner."
The first lady says, "2 years, 2 side-hoes." She got an old lexus.
The second lady says, "10 years, 1 visit from a prostitute." She got a Mercedes-Benz.
The third lady says, "I never had a husband."
The angel says in response, "F*ck me and then you can have a lambo."
They all arrive in heaven, to see the second lady crying.
The first lady says, "I know we are dead, but it could be a lot worse."
"How!?" The third lady cries, "The angel has a flute for a d*ck!"
A Christian Missionary walks up to some people and says, "Come! Meet Jesus!"
One of the guys takes out a knife and says, "You first."
If you go to the military and you get sent to a country, how many heads will you blow off?
That number is how many dicks you suck.
I say 123, yeah, the kids bullied me, but they really don't know that my dad has a gun, yeah.
I’m so annoyed by those people who just believe in anything they hear. This is a conversation I had a few days ago.
Idiot: "The moon landing was faked! So unbelievably fake!" Me: "You believe in the moon? Stupidass."
What do you call a skeleton who went out in the snow? A numb skull!