Aed jokes
What's the difference between a rock and a dead baby?
You can't fuck a rock.
My sister argued with me that you can't make a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen her face when I drove pasta!
A man went to the doctor, and the doctor said, "What happened to you?"
The man replied and said, "I broke my arm in two places!"
Then the doctor replied with, "DON’T GO BACK TO THOSE TWO PLACES!!"
I bought a new shotgun the other day. Want to know what I called it?
Kurt Cobain's microphone.
What's better than throwing dead babes?
Catching them after with a pitchfork.
What’s the difference between a mother and a fetus at an abortion office?
Only one of them is scared.
My boyfriend is just like a sexy nerd and I still have to ask him things like that because I'm so distracted from him.
What is 6.9?
A beautiful thing ruined by a period.
Why did the orange stop in the middle of the road?
Please take this down, it's not funny at all!
It's a joke, not a dick, so don't take it so hard!
If it is someone's birthday, say this for a joke:
"A long time ago in a far away galaxy...
YOU WERE BORN!"
What do you call an amazing goat?
A goat-zing.
What do you call a fantastic goat?
Goatastic! So funny please like.
Men, get into the kitchen and make me a sandwich!
Women, go chop some lumber!
White people, get back into the cotton fields!
I got my little girl a hand sewing kit for her birthday and she cried. I didn't understand why until I realized that she had no hands to sew with.
A guy goes to the store to buy thyme.
When he got back to put the thyme away he realized he still had thyme left. This was all for nothing, it was just a big waste of your thyme.
This guy in a trench coat walks up to a kid, opens the trench coat and has glasses inside.
He says to the kid, “Hey kid, want some extra-see?”
Why didn't the drummer play?
Because he got a percussion.
One day, I put a lady taffy on my ass.
This isn't a joke.
There was a homeless family in need of a room, but the guy said no more rooms because they were homeless. So, they got into a barn, and the mother gave birth to a young healthy boy. Before you say anything bad to a homeless man, that little boy was born on December 25th. Guess who it is.
JESUS CHRIST!!!!!! STOP HURTING THE HOMELESS PEOPLE AND START HELPING THEM!!!!!!!!
What's the difference between a mother and a pigeon?
One doesn't eat their husband out.