Aed jokes
What do you call a vegan cow?
A vegan cow. :/
OR
A regular cow. 🐄🙌
Why were the people in the Twin Towers mad? They wanted a drive-through pepperoni pizza, but got a fly-through plane instead.
What is a cow's favorite water sport?
Ca-MOO-ing!
What is the difference in having a granny fetish and necrophilia? A few weeks.
Only a genius can say this.
I am stupid.
A kid is watching TV and sees an ad about adopting an animal. He then turns to his mother and says, “Do we have to adopt a donkey?” “No,” replied the mom, “but we decided to do it... we adopted you.”
What’s red and cries?
A skinned baby in a bag of salt.
Age is just a number,
Jail is just a room.
I fucked a chick named Macy, but she had dyslexia.
So I ended up doing the YMCA.
One of the students reported a school shooting.
That fucking snitch...
Why is my dick like a balloon?
The more you blow it, the bigger it gets.
Read this word:
Heroine.
Did you read it like the drug or like a female superhero?
What happens if you sit under a cow?
You get a pat on the head.
What do you call mo on a dating website? Tissue face.
A happy mother: "Why is your sister so quiet?! And how did you get super glue stuck on your penis?!"
What's the difference between Tyler and a rooster? A rooster says, "cock-a-doodle-doo," Tyler says, "any cock will do."
Q: What type of mother gives their daughter sperm? A: A furry mother.
Suicidal people are a big contributor to the rope making industry.
So, a guy walks into a bar, and he tells the bartender, "After this last drink, I'm going to the roof to kill myself." A guy sitting next to him says, "I wouldn't do that if I were you." in which the man replies, "Oh yeah?" So, they both take their shots and go up to the roof. The guy says, "You're not gonna die, watch this!" He jumps off the roof and comes back up. The man rubs his eyes and tells him to go it again. He comes down and comes back up. The man says, "Cool, let me try!" and he jumps down only to kill himself. The guy goes back to the bar, and the bartender says, "Superman, you're an asshole."
There was a kidnapping at school.
Don't worry, he woke up.