Aed jokes
I'm making a new movie, it's called "Veggie Tales." My star actor is Stephen Hawking.
When I hired a Asian detective to see if my wife was cheating on me, I got this letter:
Mr. Wong - I see he, so I climb up tree. He knock on door and she let him in. She talks to him, he talks to she. He undresses she, she undresses he. She plays with he, he plays with she. I play with me, I fall out tree, I no see... No fee.
Your dick is like a shotgun, one cock and you're ready to fire.
Two sticks of butter walk into a butter bar. One says to the other, "Aren't you going to introduce me to your friends?" He replies, "Sure, dis my butter from another utter."
I would tell a pussy joke, but you would never get it.
There were 15 ugly guys on a bus. The bus crashed, and they all went to heaven.
God took pity on them and told the ugly dudes they could have one wish. The first guy said, "I want to be handsome." God granted his wish. The second guy said, "I want to be more handsome than the first guy." God granted his wish. The third guy said, "I want to be more handsome than the second guy." God granted his wish, and this continued on and on until the 15th ugly guy. The ugly guy was laughing, really hard. "What is your wish?" God asked him. "I WANT ALL THESE GUYS UGLY AGAIN!!!!!" God granted his wish.
How do you call somebody who has bought a Corona?
A Cor-owner.
When a person is thinking of a high number in Roblox
-smashes keyboard-
Steven Hawking's death, you should've gotten a case.
If Stephen Hawking was walking, they would have a hawk problem.
What’s the difference between a bird and a human?
“We don’t eat with our peckers.”
Roses are red, your penis is blue, the bed sheet has turned a different color, too.
Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign?
A: The drunk guy runs it and the stoner waits for it to turn green!
Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign?
A: The drunk guy runs it, and the stoner waits for it to turn green!
20 fridges are loaded onto a plane, only 19 come off.
Okay, moving on, you took too long. How many steps does it take to put an elephant into a fridge? (*Their reply:* Idk how many)
3: Open the fridge, put the elephant into the fridge, and close the door.
How do you put a giraffe into the fridge? (*Their reply:* 3...)
Wrong, 4: Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe, and close the door.
Why did Sully fall off the swing? A fridge fell on her.
How do you throw a surprise party at a hospital?
Bring a strobe light into the epilepsy ward.
If you want to see my foes, bring a shovel and bring a map and a getaway car just in case we get caught.
I don’t make 9/11 jokes; they have a tendency to crash and burn.
My kids are so ungrateful. I got them a new dishwasher and they just won't stop complaining about their mom.
I helped my son (who is missing his arms) unwrap his Christmas present. The ungrateful bastard just sits there and cries, and it's a pair of mittens. The ungrateful bastard is just sitting there, crying.