Aed jokes

What's the difference between a Black person and a white person?

Black people don't shoot up schools.

What do you call a cow you can’t see?

Camooflauged.

If I were a party, then anxiety must be the cousin depression felt obligated to bring to the party, and insomnia the little annoying sibling.

If I had a sister with only 1 leg... wouldn't her name be I-Lean?

When someone asks you for a beef (fight), just say you're a vegetarian.

Charizarding.

When you light a girl's pubes on fire, put it out with your jizz, then flap your arms and say, "You don't have enough badges to train me!"

what do you call a lazy gay?

someone who comes straight out of the closet, and goes straight to the couch.

I wrote a song about a tortilla. Well, it was more of a wrap.

So this guy is talking to his buddy about his flying lessons. "My first time in the air, my instructor informed me that he was an 8th degree black belt and homosexual, and if I don't succumb to his sexual advances I would have to jump out of the plane," and his buddy says, "Well, did you jump?" The guy says, "Yeah, a little at first."

A baby seal walked into a club.

My girlfriend told me she was leaving me because I keep pretending to be a Transformer. I said, "No, wait! I can change."

"Doctor, there's a patient on line 1 that says he's invisible."

"Well, tell him I can't see him right now."

Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me. It means a lot.

There was a person who sent ten different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.

"But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"Because," he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Fuck. Fuck who? What, are you kidding me? I just wanted to tell you a joke!

A man walks into the library. “Hello ma’am, I’d like to borrow a book about committing suicide.” The librarian replies, “No, you won’t give it back.”

Are you wearing a diaper? Because your butt looks so saggy.

Guy #1 is being picked up by Guy #2 from the hospital.

Guy #1: Oh man, I just got my prostate checked. It's not looking good.

Guy #2: Why, what is it?

Guy #1: Turns out, I have prostate cancer.

Guy #2: Oh man that sucks...

Guy #1: Yeah, it's a real pain in the ass!