Aed jokes
What's the difference between a Lambo and a boner?
Your sister didn't give me a Lambo.
Your mom walked into a bar and broke all the furniture.
What do you call a dead human?
A DEAD HUMAN! HAHAHahahah ha.. ha.. ha Am I the only one laughing?
Me and my grandpa went on a road trip, and he died. That was the last thing we did together, and I will never forget his last words: “WAKE UP YOU DUMBASS!”
Three men are shipwrecked on a jungle island and taken prisoner by the residing cannibals. They are all told to walk into the jungle and come back with one piece of fruit. They go in and the first man comes out with a peach. He is instructed to shove it in his ass, and if he laughs, he will be killed. He tries and dies.
The second man comes back with a grape and is instructed to do the same. When the two meet at the pearly gates, the first man says, "I had a peach. They're fuzzy. You had a grape. What's your excuse?"
"Well, I was doing fine until I saw Jimmy come out of the brush with a pineapple."
What did the dog say when he came home from a long shift at work? Today was ruff.
There was a cannibal who had a wife and eight kids.
A little boy and a little girl are taking a bath together. The little girl looks down at the boy and says, "Can I touch it?" The little boy looks back at her and says, "Hell no, you already broke yours off!"
Why did the person go to jail?
He committed a crime.
Bully: You are a piece of shit.
Person: No, I'm not a piece, and I'm not brown... so no, honey.
A conductor was conducting a song. At the end, he threw his conductor's stick and killed someone. He was put to the electric chair, but nothing happened. They asked why he didn't die, and he replied, "I'm a bad conductor."
I made a bunch of jokes about unemployed people. Sadly, all of them don't work.
Yo mama so stupid, she went to the Super Bowl with a spoon!
Your mom's a lead, Poe.
Q: What did the sign say on the whore house?
A: Beat it, we're closed.
A seal walks into a club.
One day I was eating a banana, and one my friend was eating in the balcony, so I threw my banana on his balcony. He stepped on it, so he got slipped, and one yogi was passing by me, so my friend's banana fell on his head, and he got a very nice shining half-eaten banana choti on his golden smooth head.
What is the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
You take your shoes off to jump on one.
Read this:
Crack
What did you think of? A window crack or the drug?
One day a woman met with a man behind an abandoned shop.
The man asked for some crack.
The woman turned around and said, "Here."
That's where the crack was, you guessed it.
The next day, she wiped it clean, ready for the next guest who "wanted crack."