Aed jokes
Once upon a time, there was a man named Daniel. He was blind and deaf, and he worked at a morgue.
So, one time poor Dan got confused and started having sex with the rotting corpse.
He then came home and thought he was at the morgue, so he started disintegrating his sleeping wife.
What is at the end of a rainbow?
The w.
I think I might apply for a job cleaning mirrors.
It’s a job I can see myself doing.
My neighbor is in the Guinness World Records.
He has had 44 concussions. He lives very close to me.
A stone’s throw away, in fact.
A farmer counted 196 cows in the field.
But when he rounded them up, he had 200.
I saw a sign that said, "Falling Rocks." I tried it, and it doesn't.
Those were a-mug-zing jokes. They were Mugderful, and Mugjestic.
Where do cows go on a holiday? Moo-Zealand! 😜
Q: You have problems, I think your disease is BOOFA.
Q: What boofa?
A: Boofa deez nuts in yo mouth!
Hi, here's a joke: You're wasting your time and space, you know it... :D
What did the cow say to the cheese? I am your father.
What do you call a cow that's laying down? Ground Beef.
How do you start a dance party?
Go into the PTSD ward of an insane asylum and set off fireworks and watch the magic unfold.
In a normal country, they have lemonade. In Soviet Russia, they have Leninade: "Refresh yourself with a cold war."
Sally threw herself a birthday party, and only one person showed up. Who is it?
The grim reaper.
How can you tell if a gay guy has a high sperm count?
Chew when you swallow!
Why is Stephen Hawking going to hell?
Because it’s a stairway to heaven, not a ramp.
An obese, depressed mother is trying to tie a noose, but can't reach it, so she calls her son for help.
*A few minutes later*
son: There.
mother: Where did you learn to tie such a good noose?
son: Dad showed me before he died.
mother: DAMN HIM TO HE- *slips and the noose chokes her to death*
Becoming a vegetarian is a huge missed steak.
Last time I got caught stealing a calendar, I got 12 months.
Q. What sound does a sleeping T-Rex make?
A. A dino-snore.