Aed jokes
Q: Why do Skeletons hate the cold?
A: It sends chills up their spine.
What's a skeleton's favorite instrument?
A tromboner.
The first windmill said to the second, "What's your favorite type of music?"
The second windmill said, "I'm a big metal fan!"
Two whales went to a bar.
The first whale said, "oooooooohhhhhh." The second whale said, "Greg, I think you're drunk, let's go home."
A guy walks into a bar. He sees a hot girl. He walks up to her and says, "You're getting laid tonight." She replies, "What are you, some sort of psychic?" He says, "No, I'm just stronger than you."
Jesus Christ does exist, he does, and he is the son of God... a God that doesn't exist XD
What's the difference between a five-year-old and a Democrat?
The five-year-old doesn't expect you to do everything for them.
(Vote for Ted Cruz, Ben Shapiro 2020)
Q. What monster plays the most April Fools' pranks?
A. Prankenstein.
When I was born the doctors said, "it's a boy!" Then when they went to cut the umbilical cord, they cut the wrong thing. Then they said, "Oh, it's a girl."
Q: What breed of dog is supposed to laugh at all of your jokes?
A: A Chihuahua.
So I heard Kenny's mom got moved to a nursing home.
He'll probably leave her alone now.
He doesn't eat vegetables.
What is the difference between a blond and a Nazi?
The blond survived.
My first high-school football game was a lot like my first time having sex...
I was bloody and sore at the end, but at least my dad came.
What did the cat say when he was stuck on a thorn-bush?
"Meow!"
How is a woman like a condom?
Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.
Once my dad left to get milk, then I realized we own a cow.
So, two cats, one English (named "One Two Three Cat") and one French (named "Un Deux Trois Cat"), are walking through a forest and come across a river. To have a little fun, they decide to have a race across the river.
One Two Three Cat swam across, and when he finished the race, he looked behind him. "Un Deux Trois Cat" was nowhere to be seen. So "One Two Three Cat" figured that "Un Deux Trois Cat" sank.
There were 500 bricks on a plane. One fell off.
Little Sally was crossing a river full of crocodiles. How did she survive the river? She had a gun. When she got out of the river, she died. Why? Because a brick fell on her head.
Why did Little Sally get hurt while playing soccer?
Because she fell into a minefield.
Bank owner: If you want to start a bank account, I need your name.
Guy: Robin
Bank owner: Your last name?
Guy: Debank
Bank owner: Robin Debank?
Guy: Put your hands up and give me all the money!