Aed jokes

The man had no arms and a little girl came over and said, "Give me a high-five."

He said, "I’ve got no arms," and the girl said, "Are you an eel? Cause he don’t have arms."

Is a disabled person who has no arms but has guns armed or not armed?

My nephew hated working outside in landscaping, so I got him a job in the twin towers; I don't know why he keeps complaining about it being an inside job.

What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline?

You take your boots off before jumping on a trampoline.

Q: What did Britney say to Kevin when they were in bed?

A: "Hit me baby one more time."

How can Batman defeat the Joker? A: With a handful of sleeping pills.

Did you hear? There's a new fast food restaurant coming: Jacko in the Box.

What do you call a riot full of white people?

An avalanche.

The real reason women are always cold is because they’re not in front of a stove or an oven. So, naturally, when they leave the habitat, they need to have two blankets.

What do you call a Muslim guy in a bathtub?

A bath bomb 💣

My friend's mom once told me that when Trump was elected president, she said to my friend: "Hey look, an orange became president. We got an orange as a president before a girl as president."

What does an orphan call a kidnapping?

A surprise adoption.

What did the mom say to the twins?

"Go crash a plane!"

Why couldn't George Floyd become a Demon Slayer?

Because he couldn't breathe.

Obama has dih.

But the Twin Towers just had a hard landing.

Q: What kind of person has 100% ambition and never gives up if someone gets in their way?

A: A rapist.

What’s the difference between air and a six year old?

Air has resistance.

Take a few steps back like your hairline.

I was reading a book about an immortal cat the other day; it was impossible to put down.

A man walked into a bar and said, "What do you call a cum shot?"

The people running the bar said, "I don't know, nut."

The guy said, "Are you calling me a nut?"