Aed jokes
What fruit loves rollercoasters the most?
A kiwiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!
So, I was at the gas station drinking a Slurpee when I heard an old lady start talking to me. She says, "Hey, can you check my balance?" so she could buy a chocolate bar.
So, I pushed her over and said, "Not much."
The Schönes restaurant has a great atmosphere. Order a counter and pay Tari, or Eich super made sure food and drinks stayed upright.
The historic gastronomy of the Hochspreizener, however, is even better. The lasagna is delicious and the rest will be waiting for you for days. Microwave effect. War is great.
This company is not cheap and the methods are excellent.
What’s something you can say about your clothes but not your partner?
It’s just a rental.
What is the difference between a zebra and a female NCO?
A zebra didn't have to suck and fuck to get its stripes.
How do you affirm a trans woman's gender?
By kicking him hard in the balls.
Why are a majority of rape allegations false?
Because whores like to cry wolf.
Why is Kyle Rittenhouse the Ultimate Crime Fighter?
Because in one night he killed a pedophile and a domestic abuser.
Q: What do Epstein and Dahmer have in common?
A: They both like to eat kids in and out.
I met a kid at the park. He was holding a picture of his parents in his hands. They had died on 9/11.
So, I went to comfort him. I said, "Hey, I lost my grandpa on 9/11. He was great. At flying a plane."
How come you never see a broke midget?
Because he’s living in the broke man’s boots.
Q: What's the best part about working at an abortion clinic?
A: You don't have to buy dog food.
What role does a leper play in the theater?
Voldemort!
How do you measure a dog's temperature?
In barking grade!
A kindergarten teacher is chatting with little John. The teacher asks John, "John, can you get me some pencils?" John replies, "Sure, I'll do it!" and accidentally knocks over a vase.
The teacher says, "Oh, John!"
John asks, "What does that mean?" The teacher replies, "It's kind of a synonym for 'You loser!'"
A long-haired child once took a bite of Chuck Norris's brain. He later became known as Albert Einstein.
Life’s not a game... but if it was, some people would still be stuck on the tutorial.
What happens to an Indian's doorbell when you ring it?
A ring-a-ding-a-ding.
What’s a gay man’s favorite cereal?
Froot Loops
3 boys were having a debate about who had the healthiest grandma.
Boy 1: "I have the healthiest grandma. She is 67 years old and can still do a backflip!"
Boy 2: "No, I have the healthiest grandma. She is 76 years old and can still finish a marathon!"
Boy 3: "I have the healthiest grandma. She is 85 and she is in the hospital..."
Boy 1 and 2, looking confused.
Boy 1: "If she's so healthy, why is she in the hospital?"
Boy 3: "Because she's giving birth right now!"