Aed jokes
A can of worms popping up and down inside a lot of people and a girl ate the can of worms: It was her imaginenation.
A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a drink and a mop.
“Huh, I wonder why he needs a mop?”
What's the difference between a bicycle?
A banana, because vests don't have sleeves.
Where can you find a list of dead astronauts? In the orbituaries.
I woke up to my daughter riding me in bed. I asked, "What are you doing?" She replied, "Making a Creampie."
What does a necrophiliac get at a wedding?
Mourning wood.
If a man kills a kid, it's called Murder.
If a woman kills a kid, it's called Reproductive Rights.
What do you call a dumb and mean crocodile?
A crookodile.
A women's knitters group is having a meeting, and they are all pregnant. They all talk about their pregnancies.
One woman says, "I'm taking vitamin C so my baby has a healthy immune system."
Another knitter says, "I'm taking folic acid to help my baby's brain."
Finally, one woman says, "I'm taking Thalidomide!"
All the women turn to her and say, "Thalidomide! Don't you know your baby could be born without arms?"
The woman shrugs her shoulders and says, "I don't know how to knit arms."
I like this Russian girl, but she hasn't asked me to hang off a cliff while drinking vodka.
My sis a fat cow.
How does a gay man trick a heterosexual man into giving him a blowjob?
The gay man asks the heterosexual man if he wants to give him a "brojob."
What do you call a heterosexual man performing fellatio on another heterosexual man?
Bisexual.
What do you call a heterosexual man giving a brojob to another heterosexual man?
gay now, heterosexual later.
Girl playing outside: "Step on a line and you break your mommy's spine." She then steps on a line and her mother keels over screaming.
Girl playing outside: "Step on a crack and you break daddy's back." She steps on a crack the mailman next door then keels over screaming.
The husband starts celebrating, gets in the car, and starts to drive away.
The son comes outside and steps on a crack.
The dad then dies in a car crash.
Dude, ABC, what comes next?
Kid: A big fat noob.
Hello Miss Chandia, here. I want to tell you guys a joke.
What do jokes serve for dessert?
S, ss, slalom. A.
What did the orphan get for Christmas? Nothing, because his parents ran away.
Double whammy. Orphan jokes are like a kid with cancer; it never gets old. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣👌👌👌👌👌
What is a mouse’s 🐭 favorite side order?
Cheese Fries 🍟😋