Aed jokes
I knew a guy who used to sell wrenches. He was all torque.
Friend 1: What's the most disappointing thing that ever happened to you? For me, repeating a year.
Friend 2: Failing an important test. And you?
Then there is me: My life.
What do you get when you put a clown, a peodophile, a gay wet person?
Answer: YOUR DAD
Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
Why did the royal wedding get more publicity than a school shooting?
Cause a royal wedding doesn't happen once a week.
What did the man say to the girl?
You just milked a cow.
Why can't orphans cross roads?
They don't have a parent to hold hands with.
Your mom is a transgender, your dad took a wrong turn just like his gender, your brother is just gay.
So, there was this cop on the top bunk of a bunk bed.
Another cop walks in and sits on the bottom bunk and the cop on the top bunk bed said, "You're under a-rest."
Q: What did one koala say to the other? A: How's it hanging? 😂
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
My dad came over late at night. He was drunk. He started telling me how useless I was. Then I went to the kitchen, grabbed a knife, and stabbed him in the chest 47 times.
Three minutes later, he died. Now I’m losing my mind and cutting myself.
What's the difference between a nun and a prostitute taking a bath?
The nun has a soul full of hope...
A rich girl is flying on his helicopter when suddenly it crashes, killing everyone. What was the last thing that went through her head?
The helicopter blade!
Teacher: "I'm sorry, but you got a 74 on the test."
Quiet Kid: "I'll show you my own 74."
Classroom: *visible panic*
Q: What is it called when a hoe is getting ready for her party but doesn't know what to wear but is thinking about it? A: A thotprosses
Zozo the hobo is single like a Pringle.
Single like a Pringle, and he loves Pringle's, get it?
Zozo went to the store and walked out with nothing, why?
Zozo the hobo is a hobo, remember? He doesn’t have any money.
Tim and Tom were at work. Tim said, "I'm sick of this. I'm going to act like an idiot to get sent home." So Tim was on the roof saying, "I am a light bulb!" The boss walked in and said, "Tim, go home, you're acting like a dick!" Then Tom started packing up and Tim said, "Tom, why are you packing up?" Tom says, "I can't work in the fucking dark, can I?"
Which Roman emperor was a mouse? Julius Cheeser!