Aed jokes
What do turtles use to communicate?
A shellphone!
While I was walking on the road, a cat crossed my road, and 5 min later I found it fell in the gutter.
My parents gave me a blowjob. It was a blowtastic time!
So in class, they were learning about where food comes from:
Teacher: So kids, where does bacon come from?
Student: PIGS!
Teacher: Correct. Where does mutton come from?
Student: SHEEP!
Teacher: And finally, here’s your homework.
Student: IK where that comes from!
A FAT COW! 😂😂
What's the difference between a feminist and Hitler?
Both were good at starting wars, only difference was Hitler knew when to kill himself afterwards.
Q: Why don't cars work after you change their wheels?
A: Because they're retired!
Blonde 1: Omg! Yesterday, I fucked a Brazilian!
Blonde 2: OMG YOU SLUT
Also Blonde 2: Wait, how much is a Brazilian?
Q: What is a baby's favorite reptile?
A: A rattlesnake.
What's a woodpecker's favorite kind of jokes?
Knock knock ones.
Why did the golfer change his pants? In case he got a hole in one!
One day, two Chinese people with broken English go to America. When they arrive, they go to a small place to eat. When they look at the menu, they see "hot dog," but since their English is bad, they think it's literally a roasted dog and order it. When it comes back, they're both surprised, and one of them asks,
"What part of the dog did you get?"
A young, innocent little girl is playing hopscotch, and she says, "You step on a crack, you break your mama's back." Then she steps on a crack, so her mother's back proceeded to break slowly. Then she said, "You step on a line, you break your dada's spine," but the neighbor's spine broke, and in happiness, the thought-to-be previous father gets in his car and drives through the garage door...
So there's an orphan in a hospital, and the doctor walks up and says, "Sorry, kid, but this is a family hospital."
So I went to the bank and a lady asked me to check her balance... so I pushed her over.
Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end, the faster it goes, and everyone is trying to shit on ya.
I'm a nonbinary trash can.
Why was the turtle looking at her phone?
She wanted to take a shellfie.
What do condoms and whores have in common?
Answer: There is a lot that comes in every box.
Why did the dog want a kiss? Because he can see his knees.
China should be a baseball team because they can take out the whole world with just a bat.