Aed jokes

What does a kite and a criminal have in common?

They both get high.

What’s red and very rare?

A baby in a blender.

Jonny went to school one day, and later that day his dad got a call saying he needed to pick up his son because he had had sex with a teacher. When Jonny got home, his dad was so happy he went out to the store and bought him a bike. When they bought the bike, Jonny was offered to ride the bike, but he declined it and replied, "My butt still hurts."

Walk into the club like, "Wow, I got a big penis!"

A man drinks beer and jumps off a tower, and he's okay. The other guy says, "Whoa, how'd you do that?"

He does it again, so the guy gets a beer, the same beer, and jumps off. He died.

The bartender looks at the original man who jumped off and says, "Superman, you're a real butthole whenever you're drunk."

What do you call a group of chubby trans-genders?

Trans-fats.

A guy walks to his friend's house. His friend says, "Where is your girlfriend?" The guy says, "Meet me at the cemetery in a week."

My dad went to school saying dad jokes. I was embarrassed and I cried with a-dult cry.

What happens when skeletons score points in a game?

They get a bone-us.

Lol making jokes about cancer makes me feel better as a person that had cancer, it’s great!

Superman and Flash were in the living room pounding back a few beers. Flash says to Superman, "I bet you can fly into Wonder Woman's bedroom and get the best pussy of your life." So he does it. When he goes back to Flash, Superman says, "Man, that was great, but my ass kinda burns."

I’ll always remember my father’s last words: “I’m gonna sleep for a little.”

I saw my wife at the dam yesterday. Drat. I was hoping she might float a bit more downstream.

What does a kid say to an orphan, "Where are your parents?"\n\n"I don’t have parents. Where are yours? Are you an orphan like me? I hope not!"

What talks high pitched and can't fly?

A gay man in Iran.

The reason why you have a high pitched voice is because you always sing opera.

Stephen Hawking was in a house fire. When he got out, people called him "Hot Wheels."

Whoever is reading this, I hope you have a good day because I feel bad you're so short.

I am still trying to figure out why paying the COVID doctors a compliment is so offensive. They even kicked me out, and all I said was to stay positive...

Q: What can turn a fruit into a vegetable?

A: AIDS.