Adoption

Adoption jokes

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How come when women decide to kill their unborn baby it's a "choice"? But when I decide to drive my car into a playground full of children it's called "murder."

A big hefty porker left his balls exposed and said,

"Misses!! Come here and step upon mine balls, please!!! I pay top dollar for this extreme delight!"

She pippity popped his balls like there was no tomorrow.

And he said "yuh yuh ay ay crush these nuts nuts!"

If you're ever bored, adopt an orphan. What is he going to do, be kissed by Vedanta?

What's the difference between apples and orphans? Apples actually get picked.

I made a website for orphans, but sadly it didn't have a home page.

Don't adopt people, or else your parents are gonna say you're ACTUALLY adopted, k thx. No jokes anymore, bye.

Why did Princess Diana cross the road?

She wasn’t wearing her seatbelt.

Did you know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head and shoulders all over the windshield.

Jake, Tommy, and Mike were adopted. Jake got adopted, Tommy got adopted, and Mike. Mike grew up to be an office worker. So you get a new job, and hear something about this guy named Mike.

The next day you go into the office and Mike is sitting next to you, with unicorns and rainbows and stuff. Then, a co-worker comes up and says, "No one told you Mike was gonna be this GGGAAAAYYYYY!"

My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.

If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.

Evan, this is Mya, and your mom told me you were adopted, so we are done. Bye, don’t talk to me.

Why do people name a kid "Rob?" Because they want him to rob a bank so they could adopt new kids to lock in their basement for a late-night toy.