Adoption jokes

So, my friend's birthday is in a couple of days, and I was wondering what to get him.

He hangs out at my house a lot, so I suggested adoption papers.

I don't like to use the word "kidnapping". So I just use the term: "surprise adoption."

Jokes suck.

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I wear a nose on my forehead.

What do you call an orphan's family tree? A stump.

I fucked your girl.

What do you call a sad, depressed artist? Anything but "Cows of Woe".

When a lady gets married, what does she borrow?

She borrows her husband's last name.

Roses are red... Orphans are blue... I killed the priest so I could rape them too.

A kid is watching TV and sees an ad about adopting an animal. He then turns to his mother and says, “Do we have to adopt a donkey?” “No,” replied the mom, “but we decided to do it... we adopted you.”

What's the difference between Tyler and a rooster? A rooster says, "cock-a-doodle-doo," Tyler says, "any cock will do."

Tyler

This isn't a joke.

There was a homeless family in need of a room, but the guy said no more rooms because they were homeless. So, they got into a barn, and the mother gave birth to a young healthy boy. Before you say anything bad to a homeless man, that little boy was born on December 25th. Guess who it is.

JESUS CHRIST!!!!!! STOP HURTING THE HOMELESS PEOPLE AND START HELPING THEM!!!!!!!!

Once I sucked my mum's titties. Most adopted people won't know about that.

I eat ass.

I made a website for orphans. It doesn't have a homepage.

Father: "Son, you were adopted."

Son: "What?! I knew it! I want to meet my biological parents!"

Father: "We are your biological parents. Now pack up, the new ones will pick you up in 20 minutes."

Your momma!

Ligma.

Balls.