Adoption Jokes

A family of 3, a dad, a mom, and a 12 year old son are driving in the car when the dad says, “How about we play a little game of two truths and a lie? It’ll be fun.”

“Ok,” the mom and son reply happily.

“Let me start,” says the son.

“Ok, go ahead,” replies the mom.

“I hate video games, I hate school, and I love junk food,” says the son.

“Ooh ooh! You do love junk food, you do hate school, and you don’t hate video games,” says the mom.

“Your right!” He replies.

“I’ll go next,” says the dad. “I love your mom, you’re adopted, and my dad almost died in WWII.”

“Hmm... Your dad did not almost die in WWII, obviously I’m not adopted, and you do love my mom,” Says the son.

“The lie is the second on,” says the dad.

I can tell why the Founding Fathers adopted the Constitution, because nobody likes it.

Two lesbians adopted a cat. That night, the cat ran away. Why?

Because it heard one say, "I'm gonna eat that pussy."

Ur mom.

Adopted kid: I made a big mistake!

Dad: You are one.

Do you want to know why they call it an orphanage? Because they couldn't call it orphans home.

I adopted a dog. It's gone now.

At least homeless people in China are not starving.

Why are orphans so good at tennis?

Because that’s the only love they get.

Me.

My will to live.

A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal." The other goes to a family in Spain, who name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mother.

Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds: "They're twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

Knock, knock. Who's there? You're adopted.

Why can’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.

you.

My life.