Action jokes

I got in trouble today because I threw a lamp at the emo kid and said, "Lighten up!"

Just because you‘re suicidal, you don‘t have to be a quitter.

Wait, actually.

(Bob holds Deric's neck)

Deric: "Water, what are you doing?"

Chuck Norris can make 5 minute frosting in 4 minutes.

What show do orphans relate to? I'm going with "The Hunger Games."

If Will Smith could be in any movie, he would be in "Find My Hairline."

That's what you do. And the ahteot09oe.

I will always remember my dad's last words....

"15 dollars and I'll jump."

The day after Chuck Norris was born, he drove his mom home from the hospital.

America has white people that are terrorists and racists. They love to blame people from different countries for what they have done.

White person: "We are not terrorists. Why would [we] ever do that in our history?"

The rest of the people: *looks at them stupid* "Y'all were the first motherfuckers to be a terrorist first and then wanting to blame others for your action."

1 person: "You still carrying that confederate flag. It means hatred and [you're] still trying to fight to bring back slaves again. Y'all say it's heritage and not hate, but [you're] clearly still a fucking loser, and your flag has an X [on it, which] means wrong. So... Still a loser. People can't be racist to a racist. It just doesn't make sense. I'm not saying all white people are racist, but I am talking about the ones who voted for Trump and be blind as hell. FUCK DONALD TRUMP AND THE RACIST PEOPLE!"

I can explain Superman and Batman movies in one sentence.

Two orphans fighting in the rain.

What actor does an orphan hate?

Vin Diesel.

So if you say a bear shoots children, and Leah likes Mason Boswells, and I go to Benjamin Adlard year 6.

One man walked into a bar. A second man walked into a bar, but the third guy ducked.

How to make time fly?

Answer: Throw a clock out of the window.

Everyone is able to be stupid, but you're just abusing the privilege.

Chuck Norris heard that nothing in the world could kill him.

So he tracked down nothing in the world and killed it.

Chuck Norris and Medusa had a staring contest. Medusa turned to stone.

I did not.

Mom told me to get more in touch with my feminine side. So, I crashed the car.