Action jokes

What show do orphans relate to? I'm going with "The Hunger Games."

Everyone is able to be stupid, but you're just abusing the privilege.

If your uncle Jack needed help getting off of a horse, would you help your uncle Jack off a horse?

Jimmy watched in horror as Alex told the suicidal man to do a flip.

I was excited to watch Fast and Furious because of Dom Toretto, then I realized family is nothing to me 'cause I'm an orphan.

Was threatened with legal action off my postman this morning!! I was stood havin a smoke when he asked if my dog bites, I said no. Halfway down my path the dog jumped up and bit him on his testicles!! Screaming out in pain he Said I was a lying bitch cos I told him my dog didnt bite!! Told him mine doesnt!! that wasnt my dog!!!

When the emo kid is about to hang himself in the school bathroom, and the autistic kid starts swinging the rope like Indiana Jones!

I tried to catch air once... I mist.

What's the difference between Vin Diesel and an orphan?

Vin Diesel has family.

How do you make an emo mad at you?

Cut the rope.

I stood on the edge of a building and someone yelled, "Do a flip!"..... and I did.

Run, bestie, run!

What's a whale's favorite James Bond movie? "License to Krill."

Two men walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

What is an orphan's favorite toy? A mom and dad action figure.

The boy was clapping, then he became clapped.

Tongue Trick Sex: The Movie.

Not coming soon!

This rat did the most amazing thing ever; it was pretty radical, dude.

Brrr, it's fucking cold outside, aye? What do you guys want for Christmas? A sweet video game? Maybe a cool action figure? Oh, how about the latest phone!

Who me? Oh, I guess... I wish snow could melt as fast as the snowflakes that downvote good jokes! Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals!

One man walked into a bar. A second man walked into a bar, but the third guy ducked.