Action

Action Jokes

Man

A limbless man sat on the side of a lake every day. He had no hands or legs.

One day he was crying when a woman was walking by and saw that he was upset, so she asked if he was okay. He replied, "No."

The woman said, "Well, what's wrong?"

The limbless man said, "I've never been hugged by anyone ever."

So the woman, out of kindness, hugged the man. "Are you okay now?" she asked.

"No," the man replied. So again the woman asked him what was wrong. He answered, "I've never been kissed before."

The woman eagerly gave him a peck on the lips and asked, "Are you okay now?"

The man shook his head sadly. The woman asked him what was wrong for the third time. The man said, "I've never been fucked."

The woman looked at him, picks him up, throws him in the lake, and says, "Now you are!"

Atom

Atoms never touch, so it means, we haven't touched each other or anything. So, sir, I did not drop-kick that child.

Way

What's a good way to masturbate?

Get somebody to do it for you.

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  • Car

    When you've crashed into a car, but it wasn't just any car...it was John Wicks car.

    A black dog with wide, surprised eyes and an open mouth, showing its tongue and teeth.

    Hit

    If somebody cuts their leg off and hits you with it, would they be kicking or hitting you?

    Dad

    I will always remember my dad's last words....

    "15 dollars and I'll jump."

    Haircut

    Why is Kanye West's haircut actually years of work by many doctors to piece together skull fragments like a jigsaw puzzle?

    Because Kanye once interrupted Chuck Norris on the set of "Walker Texas Ranger."

    World Trade Center

    What is something you can’t say in a superhero movie?

    “Is it a bird, is it a plane, well whatever it is, it’s heading straight for the World Trade Center.”

    Tree

    Q: How do you get a one armed person out of a tree?

    A: You wave at them.

    Trick

    1. You can't wash your eyes with soap.

    2. You can't count your hair.

    3. You can't breathe through your nose with your tongue out.

    4. You just tried number three.

    5. When you tried number 3, you realized it was possible, only you look like a dog.

    6. You're smiling right now because you realized you were fooled.

    7. You skipped number 5.

    8. You just checked if there was a number 5.

    9. This is not my joke; all credit goes to Steps.

    Car

    Mom told me to get more in touch with my feminine side. So, I crashed the car.