Action jokes
Chuck does not cut butter with a knife, he cuts a knife with butter.
What's a good way to masturbate?
Get somebody to do it for you.
A limbless man sat on the side of a lake every day. He had no hands or legs.
One day he was crying when a woman was walking by and saw that he was upset, so she asked if he was okay. He replied, "No."
The woman said, "Well, what's wrong?"
The limbless man said, "I've never been hugged by anyone ever."
So the woman, out of kindness, hugged the man. "Are you okay now?" she asked.
"No," the man replied. So again the woman asked him what was wrong. He answered, "I've never been kissed before."
The woman eagerly gave him a peck on the lips and asked, "Are you okay now?"
The man shook his head sadly. The woman asked him what was wrong for the third time. The man said, "I've never been fucked."
The woman looked at him, picks him up, throws him in the lake, and says, "Now you are!"
Chuck Norris doesn't zoom out; everything moves backwards.
Atoms never touch, so it means, we haven't touched each other or anything. So, sir, I did not drop-kick that child.
Some people can juggle chainsaws. Chuck Norris can juggle people juggling chainsaws.
Why couldn’t people use the George Floyd action figure? Because it was vacuum sealed.
I just shed my pants.
Call of Duty kill cam be like.
This is the best kill streak ever!
If somebody cuts their leg off and hits you with it, would they be kicking or hitting you?
I will always remember my dad's last words....
"15 dollars and I'll jump."
What is something you can’t say in a superhero movie?
“Is it a bird, is it a plane, well whatever it is, it’s heading straight for the World Trade Center.”
Why is Kanye West's haircut actually years of work by many doctors to piece together skull fragments like a jigsaw puzzle?
Because Kanye once interrupted Chuck Norris on the set of "Walker Texas Ranger."
They say they'll stay, but I left first.
My mom asked me if I was okay, so I replied, "I will be," and jumped out the window!
Q: How do you get the retard kid out of the tree?
A: Wave at him.
Q: How do you make a door cry?
A: Twist its knob.
Q: How do you get a one armed person out of a tree?
A: You wave at them.
Mom told me to get more in touch with my feminine side. So, I crashed the car.
What Spider-Man movie does an orphan like? Homecoming.