Action jokes
What's the difference between an egg and a wank?
You can beat an egg, but you can't beat a wank.
What is something you can’t say in a superhero movie?
“Is it a bird, is it a plane, well whatever it is, it’s heading straight for the World Trade Center.”
I just shed my pants.
What show do orphans relate to? I'm going with "The Hunger Games."
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite line in Rambo?
"Don't push me."
What is an orphan's favorite toy? A mom and dad action figure.
Some people can juggle chainsaws. Chuck Norris can juggle people juggling chainsaws.
What actor does an orphan hate?
Vin Diesel.
Atoms never touch, so it means, we haven't touched each other or anything. So, sir, I did not drop-kick that child.
If you're white and you're racist to someone, don't do anything.
I was having sex with my girl, and she said she likes it rough, so I socked her in the face.
When the emo kid is about to hang himself in the school bathroom, and the autistic kid starts swinging the rope like Indiana Jones!
Chuck Norris doesn't zoom out; everything moves backwards.
Why couldn’t people use the George Floyd action figure? Because it was vacuum sealed.
Chuck Norris heard that nothing in the world could kill him.
So he tracked down nothing in the world and killed it.
I can explain Superman and Batman movies in one sentence.
Two orphans fighting in the rain.
With a poke-poke here,
And a poke-poke there,
Here a poke, There a poke, everywhere a poke-poke!
I did not.
Mom told me to get more in touch with my feminine side. So, I crashed the car.
Not a joke, but this needs saying. Please can someone do something about all the pedo posts on here. It’s honestly just nasty.