Action jokes

How to make time fly?

Answer: Throw a clock out of the window.

What’s the similarity between your uncle and your hands?

They can both do dirty things.

When you commit suicide in your house, that's suicide, but when you commit suicide outside, you failed your parkour.

1. You can't wash your eyes with soap.

2. You can't count your hair.

3. You can't breathe through your nose with your tongue out.

4. You just tried number three.

5. When you tried number 3, you realized it was possible, only you look like a dog.

6. You're smiling right now because you realized you were fooled.

7. You skipped number 5.

8. You just checked if there was a number 5.

9. This is not my joke; all credit goes to Steps.

I was having sex with my girl, and she said she likes it rough, so I socked her in the face.

Chuck Norris heard that nothing in the world could kill him.

So he tracked down nothing in the world and killed it.

People ask me if my friend jumps off a bridge, will I go as well? Of course not. I am a leader; I will go first, my friend will jump after me!

What does a plug do when he's horny?

He jacks off!

Thanks to an unfortunate typo, it's the most one-sided action movie ever.

Alen vs. Predator.

"{[(Log date) 11 22 3] The Beginning} "This marks the first ever log of the Underground Fruit Association of n&c (ugfa). N, being code name for Nathaniel, and C, being code name for Connor. Our plan is to collect as many fruit cups as possible by the end of the year. This site will be a communication hub only and used for nothing else. We will plan and discuss courses of action, and collection." End of log"

Three ladies were on a flight when suddenly the captain announced, "Please prepare for a crash landing."

The first lady put on all her jewelry. Surprised by this, the other ladies questioned her actions. The first lady replied, "Well, when they come to rescue us they will see that I am rich and will rescue me first." The second lady, not wanting to be left behind, began to take off her top and bra. "Why are you doing that?" the other ladies questioned. "Well, when they come to rescue us, they will see my great tits and will take me first." The third lady who was African, not wanting to be outdone, took off her pants and panties. "Why are you doing that?" the other ladies questioned. "Well, they always search for the black box first."

Why did the orphan play GTA? Because he wanted to feel the wanted level.

My friend put an action toy and called it Kobe and put it on a drone. I realized that my friend didn't know how to fly a drone.

Why do orphans hate Dom Toretto?

Because they hate how he cares about family.

If your uncle Jack needed help getting off of a horse, would you help your uncle Jack off a horse?

What show do orphans relate to? I'm going with "The Hunger Games."

Everyone is able to be stupid, but you're just abusing the privilege.

Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson has made a laudable, command decision to omit real firearms from his movie sets.

This being the case, he ought to produce, direct, and star in his next movie titled: “The Rubber Gun Squad!” 👌 😉

Imagine orphans watching Spiderman: No Way Home.

I saw a kid in a wheelchair and I screamed, "EXTREME PARKOUR!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Imagine if the kid in a wheelchair was in Fast and Furious. His wheelchair is the only one that keeps him going.