How to make time fly?
Answer: Throw a clock out of the window.
Q: How do you get the retard kid out of the tree?
A: Wave at him.
When you commit suicide in your house, that's suicide, but when you commit suicide outside, you failed your parkour.
I was having sex with my girl, and she said she likes it rough, so I socked her in the face.
Chuck Norris heard that nothing in the world could kill him.
So he tracked down nothing in the world and killed it.
Thanks to an unfortunate typo, it's the most one-sided action movie ever.
Alen vs. Predator.
People ask me if my friend jumps off a bridge, will I go as well? Of course not. I am a leader; I will go first, my friend will jump after me!
Whatβs the similarity between your uncle and your hands?
They can both do dirty things.
"{[(Log date) 11 22 3] The Beginning} "This marks the first ever log of the Underground Fruit Association of n&c (ugfa). N, being code name for Nathaniel, and C, being code name for Connor. Our plan is to collect as many fruit cups as possible by the end of the year. This site will be a communication hub only and used for nothing else. We will plan and discuss courses of action, and collection." End of log"
Three ladies were on a flight when suddenly the captain announced, "Please prepare for a crash landing."
The first lady put on all her jewelry. Surprised by this, the other ladies questioned her actions. The first lady replied, "Well, when they come to rescue us they will see that I am rich and will rescue me first." The second lady, not wanting to be left behind, began to take off her top and bra. "Why are you doing that?" the other ladies questioned. "Well, when they come to rescue us, they will see my great tits and will take me first." The third lady who was African, not wanting to be outdone, took off her pants and panties. "Why are you doing that?" the other ladies questioned. "Well, they always search for the black box first."
Why did the orphan play GTA? Because he wanted to feel the wanted level.
My friend put an action toy and called it Kobe and put it on a drone. I realized that my friend didn't know how to fly a drone.
Why do orphans hate Dom Toretto?
Because they hate how he cares about family.
What show do orphans relate to? I'm going with "The Hunger Games."
What actor does an orphan hate?
Vin Diesel.
Dwayne βthe Rockβ Johnson has made a laudable, command decision to omit real firearms from his movie sets.
This being the case, he ought to produce, direct, and star in his next movie titled: βThe Rubber Gun Squad!β π π
Sometimes I look back at everything bad I have done. I tell myself it's ok, they're just telling me to keep myself safe :)
That's it, it wasn't a joke.
Imagine orphans watching spiderman no way home.
Everyone is able to be stupid, but you're just abusing the privilege.
I saw a kid in a wheelchair and I screamed, "EXTREME PARKOUR!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Imagine if the kid in a wheelchair was in Fast and Furious. His wheelchair is the only one that keeps him going.
