Action jokes

She blew on it, and it went hard.

If you ever get bored, just punch an orphan. I mean, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

Q: Why do orphans hate Fast and Furious movies?

A: Because they say "family" too often.

Chuck Norris once did a roundhouse kick... and successfully completed the bottle cap challenge.

Harry Potter

Dobby: "Dobby never meant to kill, Dobby only meant to maim or seriously injure!"

Jumanji

Coach Webb: "Ok, there's a lot wrong with that."

I was at the bank yesterday.

A lady asked to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

"Fuck you, do something about it!"

That's what you do. And the ahteot09oe.

Just do it.

Gas, gas, gas, I'm gonna step on your ass!

TONIGHT

FOR FUN

YEAH YEAH YEAH

What was Stephen Hawking's favorite line in Rambo?

"Don't push me."

With a poke-poke here,

And a poke-poke there,

Here a poke, There a poke, everywhere a poke-poke!

Your mom is so stupid, she thought eating ass was cannibalism.

Dang, it got ketchup on my sleeve. What do I do?

Spread the love!

Sat at a busy intersection with a slice of bread, waiting for a traffic jam.

Cut a hole in the rug so he could see a dirty floor show.

He took hay to bed to feed his nightmare.

Took a tape measure to bed to see how long he slept.

Put his nose out the window so the wind will blow it.

Died with his boots on because he didn't want to hurt his toes when he kicked the bucket.

What takes knowledge to do and also takes knowledge away?

Looking down the barrel and pulling the trigger. 😂

What time is it when you smell garbage? Time to run!

Three guys walk into a bar; the fourth one ducks.

If you're white and you're racist to someone, don't do anything.

I did not.