Accident jokes
A: Why did Sally fall off the swing?
B: Why?
A: Because she has no arms.
Knock, knock.
B: Who's there?
A: Not Sally.
Joe was eating ice cream while walking on the street. He dropped his ice cream. Why?
B: I don't know, why?
A: Because Sally was driving the car.
Why did the little boy get hit by a car?
Answer: Because Sally was driving!
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She wasn’t wearing a seat belt.
What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common? The Wall was their last big hit.
What did Pavol Demitra think before the Yaroslavl plane hit the ground?
"Oh shit, did I leave the stove on at home?"
Memes
What did Kobe Bryant and Josef Vanicek have in common?
They both won a trophy at least once, Vanicek a 1x Stanley Cup champion with the Carolina Hurricanes, and they also both crashed and burned in a helicopter or airplane.
Why was Josef Vasicek a Stanley Cup champion in 2006?
Because you know who was jealous and he went down in 2020.
A book just fell on my head. I’ve got only my shelf to blame!
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Cause he would never look both ways.
What do you say when you hear someone tripping over at night?
Goddammit, Jamal!
Why did AlexDaEgg fall down the stairs? Because he is fat.
Why did the Titanic sink?
Because the people aboard are stupid.
I left my boots on in the river, and I drowned.
When my friend fell, I didn't crack up, but the sidewalk did.
Today sucked. My girlfriend got hit by a car, and I lost my job as an Uber driver.
Where do you take someone who’s been injured in a peek-a-boo accident?
To the I.C.U.
Goofy ahh grandpa fell down the stairs, and he said, "Damn!"
Why did Sally not come home from school today?
Because she got hit by a bus.
My uncle died from falling off a ladder and landing on his head (true story).
All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put my uncle together again.
I was going to charge my phone, so I pulled a plug and put it in. Then, my grandpa wasn't breathing anymore.