Accident jokes
One day, a class of children were killed in a bus accident, but only some survived. One was praying that he would survive, and the other said, "First time?"
I threw a kid in a wheelchair into a fire... I called him hot wheels.
John Kreese's forehead broke when silver hit 'em in the forehead.
A book just fell on my head. I’ve got only my shelf to blame!
What do you call a gay kid on fire?
Memes
True story: my math teacher Mr. Ueberoth accidentally marked a Kahoot as 100 points in Google Classroom instead of 10. If he doesn't find out, the grades will be more hyperinflated than Zimbabwe's economy.
Why did AlexDaEgg fall down the stairs? Because he is fat.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Cause he would never look both ways.
My grandma stubbed her toe in an elevator on September 21st.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To cut through traffic.
Why did the little boy get hit by a car?
Answer: Because Sally was driving!
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She wasn’t wearing a seat belt.
What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common? The Wall was their last big hit.
You were born on a highway in a car crash, I wonder why.
A: Why did Sally fall off the swing?
B: Why?
A: Because she has no arms.
Knock, knock.
B: Who's there?
A: Not Sally.
Joe was eating ice cream while walking on the street. He dropped his ice cream. Why?
B: I don't know, why?
A: Because Sally was driving the car.
Random Kid: Aye man where was Kobe flying to?
Launch Site: Umm, he might have gone too close to here, sorry if he might have crashed...
Your forehead so big, I think that's what Kobe crashed into.
Who's Paul Walker's close friend?
Tree.
From now on, we’re gonna call shitting the bed an “Amber Alert.”
One of my earliest memories is seeing my mother's face through the oven window as we played hide and seek, and she said: "You're getting warmer!"