Accident jokes
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Cause he would never look both ways.
My grandma stubbed her toe in an elevator on September 21st.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To cut through traffic.
Why did the little boy get hit by a car?
Answer: Because Sally was driving!
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She wasn’t wearing a seat belt.
Memes
What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common? The Wall was their last big hit.
You were born on a highway in a car crash, I wonder why.
A: Why did Sally fall off the swing?
B: Why?
A: Because she has no arms.
Knock, knock.
B: Who's there?
A: Not Sally.
Joe was eating ice cream while walking on the street. He dropped his ice cream. Why?
B: I don't know, why?
A: Because Sally was driving the car.
Random Kid: Aye man where was Kobe flying to?
Launch Site: Umm, he might have gone too close to here, sorry if he might have crashed...
Your forehead so big, I think that's what Kobe crashed into.
Who's Paul Walker's close friend?
Tree.
From now on, we’re gonna call shitting the bed an “Amber Alert.”
One of my earliest memories is seeing my mother's face through the oven window as we played hide and seek, and she said: "You're getting warmer!"
I hate sitting in traffic, I always get run over.
I remember my grandfather's last words:
"Are you holding the ladder?"
There were two snakes slithering along when one snake said to the other snake, "Are we poisonous?" "Idk why?" The other snake responded, "'Cause I just bit my tongue!"
Last night I slipped on a banana.
My friend said it was a-peeling!
Why did the dog cross the road?
It didn't. Got hit by a car on the way to the other side.
Jerry: My dad got into a fight on a plane.
Jeremy: That's just *plane* crazy!
My father can take a joke because he made one.