Accident jokes
My Butterfingers slipped.
Why did the little boy get hit by a car?
Answer: Because Sally was driving!
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She wasn’t wearing a seat belt.
What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common? The Wall was their last big hit.
You were born on a highway in a car crash, I wonder why.
A: Why did Sally fall off the swing?
B: Why?
A: Because she has no arms.
Knock, knock.
B: Who's there?
A: Not Sally.
Joe was eating ice cream while walking on the street. He dropped his ice cream. Why?
B: I don't know, why?
A: Because Sally was driving the car.
True story: my math teacher Mr. Ueberoth accidentally marked a Kahoot as 100 points in Google Classroom instead of 10. If he doesn't find out, the grades will be more hyperinflated than Zimbabwe's economy.
I threw a kid in a wheelchair into a fire... I called him hot wheels.
My grandma stubbed her toe in an elevator on September 21st.
What do you call a gay kid on fire?
My pet parrot had an accident and lost both his wings... he is being very brave about it though... he is totally unflappable.
What did Pavol Demitra think before the Yaroslavl plane hit the ground?
"Oh shit, did I leave the stove on at home?"
You can give a hockey team airplane a new source of heating, but it went too far on September 7th, 2011, when the Yaroslavl plane crash happened.
Why was Josef Vasicek a Stanley Cup champion in 2006?
Because you know who was jealous and he went down in 2020.
What did Kobe Bryant and Josef Vanicek have in common?
They both won a trophy at least once, Vanicek a 1x Stanley Cup champion with the Carolina Hurricanes, and they also both crashed and burned in a helicopter or airplane.
Random Kid: Aye man where was Kobe flying to?
Launch Site: Umm, he might have gone too close to here, sorry if he might have crashed...
Your forehead so big, I think that's what Kobe crashed into.
Who's Paul Walker's close friend?
Tree.
From now on, we’re gonna call shitting the bed an “Amber Alert.”
Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided? Both crews were marooned!