Accident jokes
I was walking down the streets with my parents and my sister. My mum said, "Step on a crack, break your mother's back." I stepped on a crack. My sister has been in the hospital ever since.
Today was the worst day ever. My ex got hit by a truck... On the plus side, my truck doesn't even have a dent.
Why did your mom cross the road?
Why? She didn't, she got hit by a car.
My grandpa's last words before he died in Vietnam were, "What the fuck did I step on?"
Why do an emo's parents not let them cook, because they are afraid they will cut themselves?
Memes
omg im sobbing so hard, saddest yt comment ever bro, challenge, find a sadder one
Luisa: The ship doesn't swerve, as it heard how big the iceberg is.
Captain of the Titanic: Wait, what did you say?
3 minutes later:
Why didn't I listen to the strong one?
What do you call an orphan in a wheelchair running into fire?
Hot wheels.
Once, an orphan purposely fell out of a tree. He forgot his parents wouldn't catch him.
My friend just got hit by a car and is now in a wheelchair. He is getting bullied, but I don’t understand why he just can’t stand up for himself.
House for sale: five minutes from the beach or eight seconds if you fall.
What do you get if a disabled person falls off a building? Mashed potatoes.
Why did the child cross the road?
Because he didn’t wear a seatbelt.
What is white, then red, and is very fast?
My chainsaw blade.
Were you bought on a highway? Because that's where most accidents happen.
What has 4 limbs and can make a sidewalk red? Me falling from a 20 story building.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of children.
What were the astronauts' last words before the shuttle blew up?
"What does this button do...?"
Imagine if Joe Biden was elected for a second term.
He would be the first president to be assassinated by a slick bathtub.
What does Diana stand for?
Died In A Nasty Accident.
Billy: Dad, I was shot by a sniper!
Dad: Uh...
*hides his rifle*