Why did your mom cross the road?
Why? She didn't, she got hit by a car.
Accident Jokes
My grandpa's last words before he died in Vietnam were, "What the fuck did I step on?"
Why do an emo's parents not let them cook, because they are afraid they will cut themselves?
Luisa: The ship doesn't swerve, as it heard how big the iceberg is.
Captain of the Titanic: Wait, what did you say?
3 minutes later:
Why didn't I listen to the strong one?
What do you call an orphan in a wheelchair running into fire?
Hot wheels.
Once, an orphan purposely fell out of a tree. He forgot his parents wouldn't catch him.
My friend just got hit by a car and is now in a wheelchair. He is getting bullied, but I don’t understand why he just can’t stand up for himself.
House for sale: five minutes from the beach or eight seconds if you fall.
What do you get if a disabled person falls off a building? Mashed potatoes.
Why did the child cross the road?
Because he didn’t wear a seatbelt.
What is white, then red, and is very fast?
My chainsaw blade.
Were you bought on a highway? Because that's where most accidents happen.
What has 4 limbs and can make a sidewalk red? Me falling from a 20 story building.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of children.
What were the astronauts' last words before the shuttle blew up?
"What does this button do...?"
Imagine if Joe Biden was elected for a second term.
He would be the first president to be assassinated by a slick bathtub.
What does Diana stand for?
Died In A Nasty Accident.
Billy: Dad, I was shot by a sniper!
Dad: Uh...
*hides his rifle*
Kobe's favorite song was "It's going down for real."
His new music video has been leaked. It’s called “Living in a Tree.”
