Accident jokes
Why did the child cross the road?
Because he didn’t wear a seatbelt.
What do you get if a disabled person falls off a building? Mashed potatoes.
What is white, then red, and is very fast?
My chainsaw blade.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of children.
Q: Why did the baby cross the road?
A: It wasn't in its car seat.
Why did Princess Di cross the road?
Momentum.
Dad: Why did Jimmy fall off his bicycle?
Son: Why?
Dad: Because somebody threw a washing machine at him.
Why did Susie fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Not Susie!"
Today, me and my best friend went to the Grand Canyon. He was taking up all the space by the edge, and I told him to back up. R.I.P. to him.
Imagine if Joe Biden was elected for a second term.
He would be the first president to be assassinated by a slick bathtub.
Why did the planes crash into the Twin Towers?
Because the cleaner left the landing lights on!
Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms.
What's the 9/11 survivors' least favorite team?
New York Jets.
Kobe's favorite song was "It's going down for real."
What a day yesterday was! I got a promotion, and my sister's killer was hit by a bus. Now I'm in a cast!
What do you call an orphan in a wheelchair running into fire?
Hot wheels.
My friend just got hit by a car and is now in a wheelchair. He is getting bullied, but I don’t understand why he just can’t stand up for himself.
Why do an emo's parents not let them cook, because they are afraid they will cut themselves?
House for sale: five minutes from the beach or eight seconds if you fall.
Once, an orphan purposely fell out of a tree. He forgot his parents wouldn't catch him.