Accident jokes
I was playing hide and seek at work the other day. Unfortunately, it ended with me in the hospital, though; ICU.
My heart broke as I went down the stairs, and my girlfriend broke her heart.
So this guy thought he was funny by pissing on the floor and not in the urinal.
Later on, I guess some kid ran into the bathroom because, well, he probably had to go, but yeah, he slipped and fell and hit his head on the urinal, so all in all it was a pretty good prank on his part.
Why are the 9/11 survivors the fastest readers in the world?
Because they went down 109 stories in 10 seconds.
I had a friend who got shot in the head.
Guess you could say he was...
Blown Away!
Hold upp
An unfortunate accident happened at the Nestlè factory. A man named Joe was seriously injured because a box of chocolates fell on him. Every time he said, "The chocolates are on me!" everyone cheered.
Did you see the blind guy trip on a can?
He didn't either.
A guy crashed his Ford SUV. He couldn't escape.
Kaj je pomaranča rekla, ko jo je povozil avto?
Why is my plane delayed?
Because someone hit the Sears Tower.
I saw a bicycler flip over a gutter. It was pretty grate.
What’s yellow and can sink a bus full of kids?
You were born on the highway. That's where all the accidents happen!
What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?
A paraplegic after a house fire.
Why is Paul Walker a walker?
To let people know he isn't a driver.
There was this intern that worked at an orphanage, and she burnt it down. Luckily, she doesn't have to tell her parents.
Al Fayed’s son arrives at heaven’s gates and sees his driver.
He shouts “you stupid cunt!”
The driver says, “Watch, Boss?”
Dodi replies...:
“I said I WANT TO FUCK DI IN THE TUNNEL NOT FUCKING DIE IN THE TUNNEL!”
A doctor fell into a well and broke his collarbone.
The doctor should attend the sick and leave the well alone!
"Ouch!"
"What's wrong?"
"I stepped on a screw."
"Are you ok?"
"I'm in ex-screw-ciating (excruciating) pain!"
Dang, it got ketchup on my sleeve. What do I do?
Spread the love!