Accident jokes
I would make a joke about Kobe, but I don't think it would fly very well.
What is it called when someone is in a wheelchair and in a fire?
Hot Wheels...
What do you call a retard that got hit by a car? Mashed potatoes.
You could say Kobe's career went up in smoke.
Bro, the airplanes that crashed, darn it, they got MVP!
Kobe never missed a shot, but he missed the helipad.
I'm going to hell!
Tony's wife got a divorce from Tony. She said she wanted to be an independent woman.
Days later, Tony's wife had an accident. Guess who's crawling back for help. 💀
Me and my friend were duck hunting.
He shot 5 ducks in one shot. Then he shot by accident and yelled "DUCK!" then "MOTHERDUCKER!" Then ducks came down and one by one bit him.
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire.
Now we call him hot wheels.
Kobe: "Don't crash!"
Helicopter: *Crashes*
Ten Catholic priests all die in a bus accident. When they arrive at the pearly gates, St. Peter acknowledges them. He sees that they're all priests and immediately says "If any of you are pedophiles, there's no point waiting here. You might as well eff off straight to hell right now!” Nine of the priests turn around and begin to walk away. St. Peter calls after them, "AND TAKE THE DEAF BASTARD WITH YOU TOO!”
Where did Josh go after getting lost on a minefield? Everywhere.
A boy and his mother survived a car crash.
The boy asks his mother, "Was that like how I was born? A hard smash?" The mother replies with "More like an accident."
Once, an orphan purposely fell out of a tree. He forgot his parents wouldn't catch him.
Where did Sally go when she went in the minefield?
Everywhere.
While I was walking on the road, a cat crossed my road, and 5 min later I found it fell in the gutter.
I farted, try me. You farted? Oh no, we all farted.
The plane crashed, but I did too on a pillow.
Why did lil Timmy drop his lollies?
He was hit by a train.
Where do you take someone who’s been injured in a peek-a-boo accident?
To the I.C.U.
A man walked into a fleshlight and died.