Accident Jokes

Does Lightning McQueen get life insurance or car insurance?

Today was the worst day ever! My brother got run over, and I lost my driver's license!

dont make jokes about the accident my dad died in it he was the best pilot in all of Saudi Arabia :(

what similar between a 14 year old pregnant girl and the fetus inside of her

there both thinking oh shit my moms going to kill me

What did the Tin Man say when he got run over by a steamroller? -- "Curses! Foil again!"

Last week I was on a plane to Manchester when suddenly the plane was hit by a BALL. I wondered where it came from but I soon realized it was none other than Penaldo practicing his free kicks. Shame on you Penaldo for almost killing me!

Boy: why is my sister named Rose Dad: someone threw a rose out of a car and it hit her in the head Boy: okay Dad Dad: No problem Brick

Mom told me to get more in touch with my feminine side. So I crashed the car.

When they say you live by the sword you die by the sword, not in Paul Walkers case he lived by the car died by a tree well I guess the car was stumped

What fits neatly into a hole, slides nicely between breasts, and if used wrong could choke someone? A seatbelt.

How did Billy find out he was in a minefield?

He saw his dads corpse holding a jug of milk.

I wasn't close to my father when he died. Which is lucky because he stepped on a landmine.

Today i find out that my cat got hit by a car accident, wellp i guess im gonna play ninja fruits on my hands again, Its not like anyone will notice.

Me and my friend were duck hunting. He shot 5 ducks in one shot. Then he shot by accident and yelled "DUCK!" then "MOTHERDUCKER!". Then ducks came down and one by one bit him.