Accident jokes

I would make a Paul Walker joke, but it would crash and burn.

I only remember my father's last words before he died. He said, "Are you still holding the ladder?"

For Sale: Parachute. Used once, never opened, small stain.

What was the one word that could have saved Princess Diana's life?

Taxi.

The British equivalent to 9/11 would be a big red bus crashing into Big Ben.

My son asked me how I'm so clean, "inside out." I told him because of bleach. The next day, I found him drinking the bleach.

I've been hit by several things in my life.

Sadly, never a car.

I will always remember my grandfather's last words: "I'll just check if it's poisonous."

An Indian guy and an American guy in a wheelchair met in a bar for drinks.

The American guy got drunk and fell on the sidewalk.

The Indian guy got drunk and walked away.

My aunt used to say, "Slow and steady wins the race." She died in a fire.

Stephen Hawking died because he accidentally lost his bluetooth connection.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to have a little fun, but stupid Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.

you.

My school is on fire today, and I pushed a kid in a wheelchair down the stairs and shouted, "Hot Wheels!"

A man crashed his new expensive car into a tree. He now knew how the Mercedes bends.

What did the Mexican man say when his house fell on him?

"Get off me homes."

Why didn't Sally get home from work?

She got hit by a bus.

I think Paul Walker and 9/11 jokes are great, but when I tell them to others, they tend to crash and burn.

My grandpa killed 100 German soldiers; he was the worst German pilot ever.

I will always remember my grandpa's last words. "Shit, the ladder is falling!"