Accident jokes
Hondo's dad and mum went up the hill to do it in the water.
Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a Hondo.
Your mom is so weak, when she jumped from the Twin Towers, her baby became disabled.
Sorry, what’s the quickest way to get to the hospital? Easy, just stand in the middle of a busy road.
What did the Titanic say as it sank?
I’m nominating all passengers for the Ice Bucket Challenge!
Why did the plane go to KFC?
To lose its wings and crash!
What did one twin say to the other?
"Watch out for the plane!"
What did they find in Paul Walker's glovebox?
His head and shoulders.
What do you call a bald person on fire?
A fried egg.
I’d make a Kobe joke, it just wouldn’t land right.
If at first you don't succeed, oh well, so much for skydiving.
Why did I trip over your foot?
Because you were so short I couldn’t see you!
I was once friends with a schizophrenic emo. He tried high-fiving a tree, but it only left him hanging.
I just went on a date with a woman in a wheelchair.
I stood her up, which made her fall for me. At first it was a drag, but now we’re rolling.
If your controller ever dies, remember those people that died on the submersible.
Q: What's yellow and floats?
A: A bus full of children.
@ Kobe the person under my joke, your hairline is so bad that Kobe Bryant could've lived if he landed the helicopter on your forehead.
What is the world's strongest material?
The tree that Paul Walker hit.
My dad died in 9/11, he was a great pilot.
Mom tells her son to go to the other kid, to walk to the kid just standing still, to clap so the kid can hear and move out of the way of the car.
But her son was blind, the other kid had no legs so he couldn't walk, and the kid has no arms so he couldn't clap, and the kid died because he couldn't hear; he was deaf.
I ran over some crippled kids. I told [them] to walk it off!