Did you hear about the man who was accidentally buried alive? -- It was a grave mistake.
Two police officers crash their car into a tree. After a moment of silence, one of them says, "Wow, that's got to be the fastest we've ever gotten to an accident site."
I can count the number of times I've been to Chernobyl on one hand. -- It's seven.
I tried to explain to my 4 year old son that it's perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants. But he's still making fun of me.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to straighten her pubic hair and burned her balls.
A blonde walks into a bar.
Ouch.
What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft?
A flat miner.
What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common?
Their last big hit was the wall.
