Person: "Sorry to bother you, but what's the quickest way to get to the hospital?"
Stranger: "Oh, just go stand in the middle of the road!"
My friend showed me his broken finger, and I said, "JESUS!" He said his name is Jake.
House for sale: five minutes from the beach or eight seconds if you fall.
dont make jokes about the accident my dad died in it he was the best pilot in all of Saudi Arabia :(
Me and my friend roasting each other.
Him: Your dad dropped you on purpose, but my dad dropped me by accident.
Me: But after dropping you, he never picked you up.
Why is the U.S. so mad about the Twin Towers? It was an accident. The pilots were new.
We destroyed two boats, and they dropped the sun on us twice!
Plane crash in China... pilots names released in the incident are as follows:
Sum Ting Wong.
Wei Toh Low.
Ho Lee Fuk.
Ban Din Ouch.
What do you say to a person who got his whole left side cut off? "Are you all right?!"
Q: Why was the pilot sad?
A: 'Cause he was bad at playing Jenga. 💀
Kobe never missed a shot, but he missed the helipad.
I'm going to hell!
Why do an emo's parents not let them cook, because they are afraid they will cut themselves?
From now on, we’re gonna call shitting the bed an “Amber Alert.”
I swear I witnessed your nana fall down the stairs.
L
Who's Paul Walker's close friend?
Tree.
Presidents are normal, physically.
Biden: Trips over a f***ing stair.
Were you born on the highway? That's where most accidents happen.
There was a person inside who needed help from the police, but the police changed their number, so he ordered a party with pizzas from 2 airplanes, but the pilots were stupid, so they put people instead of pizzas, and one landed on the 93rd floor and the 94th floor, literally.
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into the school fire and said, "Hot wheels."
Your forehead so big, I think that's what Kobe crashed into.
