What is burned dark and glued to the wall?
A bad electrician.
A boy asked his dad for a some money to buy an ice-cream with. So he went to an icecream van. Whilst he was in the queue 2 boys asked him what flavour he was getting he told them strawberry. The two boys were shocked and beat him up. The icecream man felt bad and gave him his strawberry ice-cream for free. When he got home his dad also asked what flavour he bought the boy said strawberry. His dad then kicked him out of the house. The boy confused walked down the street and was stopped buy the police who were looking for a boy who had been eating strawberry ice-cream. The boy said thats me and the policeman arrested him. A week later in court the boy was on trial. The judge asked, ''can you tell me what were you doing on the fith of may''(the day he was arrested) the boy said I was eatimg ice-cream. Yhe judge decided he was innocent. On the way out the judge asked him what the flavour was (he had forgotten to ask during the trial). Of course he answered with strawberry the judge horrified realised he had given the wrong verdict and the boy should have been executed. Unfortunately he couldn't change what had happened so the boy walked out and crossed the road but was hit by a car and died. The moral of the story is look left and right before crossing the road
There were two snakes slithering along when one snake said to the other snake "Are we poisonous?" "Idk why?" The other snake responded "Cause I just bit my tongue!"
What did the helicopter say Helicopter: Kobe
Why did the plane crash? Because it was being flown by a loaf of bread.
my friend died by a truck, why can't I get run over
Man 1: I-I ran my mom over to get a stupid book. Man 2: aww books aren't that bad. I'm sure she thinks you're a great son considering she can't drive anymore. Man 1: She was in the road and I was rushing to get the last copy of this book. She can't drive or do anything anymore
What’s the best way to get a baby out of a blender? Tortilla Chips.
What do you call a drunk, depressed man that skydives?
Splattered.
why did itsfunneh go on the road she so draco looking at car then the car runs over him sad draco
Why did lil timmy drop his lollies
(He was hit by a train
We were so poor that every time I passed by a butcher shop I thought there had been a horrible accident.
My father can take a joke- :because he made one
What’s loud, red and goes at 200mph?
Paul Walker’s Porsche
my dad died in 9/11. he was such a good pilot
So one time I was looking up the definition of accident because I was a little dumbo and didn’t know what it meant. Then my sister walks up behind me, and points at the word and says, “That’s you!”(meaning that I was an accident) A few minutes later, we had a big family meeting and my dad said to my sister, “Sweetie, you were an accident. We didn’t mean to make you. But we still love you with everything we’ve got.”
My sister never talked to me again and left the house. She was 17 when she left. Seriously, 17-year-olds just never mature, huh?
How did they figure out what kind of shampoo Paul Walker used? They found his “head and shoulders” in the dash.
Three blondes were taking a walk when they stumbled on some tracks. They argued on what the tracks came from. One of them said “it’s a deer.” The other said it “No it’s a coyote.” The last one was going to give her thoughts, but that was when the train hit them.
A guy goes to Starbucks and asks”Hey, if I can make you laugh I don’t have to pay.”The girl in the window says,”ok.”The guys says,”A little boy named Timmy lost his arms.”The girl says,” oh no!”The guy says”and his dad left him when he was 4.”The girl says “uhh yeah.” The guy says”Ok,I guess I’ll be paying then” The girl asks”Ok,And what name will that be under?”The guy says”Timmy,I’m Timmy.”
Fletcher is not a lesbian. He is also not an Asian. He is also definately not an accident.
