Abuse jokes
What’s the difference between acne and a Catholic priest?
Acne waits till you’re 13 to come on your face.
Pedophiles smell good.
The priest wanted the little boy to touch his cross. The boy said, "It's hard." Then it shot out holy water, and the priest said, "Come again and taste the second cumming of Jesus, lmao."
Orphans and punching bags are almost the same.
They both get hit, but a punching bag is still wanted.
Why is Kyle Rittenhouse the Ultimate Crime Fighter?
Because in one night he killed a pedophile and a domestic abuser.
Q. What do iPads and Jeffrey Epstein have in common?
A. Kids turn them on.
I'd tell a child abuse joke, but I forget the punchline.
Why was the egg runny?
Because he'd just had sex with Jimmy Saville.
My wife's always nagging me. "You don't let me have any friends, I abuse her, and I'm always coming back late." So I thought I would treat her. I popped up in the attic and introduced her to two women.
Q: What do priests have in common with McDonald's?
A: They both put their meat in 13-year-old buns.
A brain eats cheddar cheese.
Who wants to see me rape a toddler?
What did the pedophile say to the kids?
"FUCK!"
Why is it OK to hit an orphan?
Because they can’t tell their parents.
Why do kids want to become cops?
They want to find the guy who touched them.
I went into a CS:Go lobby and all I heard for ten minutes straight was, "Act like you're hard, but your dad beat you harder."
What job do you want if you don't want people's twos since?
A Catholic priest.
What do you say to a woman who is completely beaten up on her face, full of bruises, and has a broken jaw?
"Will you listen now?!??"
Why do pedophiles come in last place for every race... because they are always in the back (if you know what I mean)?
Why do I call my dog a vibrator?
Because every time my dog acts like a dildo, I beat him, and when I beat him, he shakes. What do you call a shaking dildo? A vibrator, therefore I call my dog a vibrator.