Abuse jokes
What's the leading cause of pedophilia? Sexy children.
Why do I call my priest daddy?
Because he raped my mom when she was 13. She's 27 now.
My mum touched my friend, but she wasn’t the she’s only 12.
What do a plastic bag and Jeffery Epstein have in common?
They're both dangerous to children.
Why is the Catholic church in favor of condoms now?
It's now getting harder to hide DNA evidence.
What did the man say in the morning after beating up his wife?
"I woke up Chris Breezy."
If you're ever down one day, just go to the orphanage and bully an orphan because what is he going to do about it? He has no parents.
Why do kids want to become cops?
They want to find the guy who touched them.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends, how hard can you throw them?
What’s the difference between a Catholic and a rabbit?
One has kids to protect from predators, and the other has kids for predators.
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing, you haven't told her twice.
What is it called when you whoop a donkey?
A whooped ass and apparently some people get that everyday from their drunk dads.
What is a pedophile's favorite piano note?
A Minor.
My friend looks more red than Mr. Krabs.
It’s weird, I could’ve sworn I saw the silhouette of a belt hurling towards him the other day.
Michael Jackson and Kelly Clarkson both did shady stuff to children. Michael Jackson said that there is nothing wrong with sharing a bed with unrelated small children. Kelly Clarkson said that there is nothing wrong with physically beating a small child.
The thing is, though, only one of them made "Billie Jean" or "Beat It", and the other is just a typical karaoke country singer. So no surprise people gave Wacko Jacko a pass.
What do McDonald's and a priest have in common? They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.
It's not rape if you're both crying.
What do you call a Catholic priest who molests children?
A Catholic priest.
Have you heard about the pedophile who was guilty of robbery?
He took a girl's innocence.
What did Michael Jackson say to the little boy?
"Shhhhhhh, this might hurt a little."