Abuse

Abuse jokes

Child Abuse

What are a doctor's and a WWE fighter's ideas on child abuse?

Doctor's: Don't do it, it does not help. Mood behavior.

WWE fighters: If it can crawl, it can brawl.

Orphan

If you're bored, just punch an orphan!

What are they gonna do...tell their parents?

Paedophile

What happens when you bring a paedophile to a baby's birthday party?

You will have even more birthday parties to go to.

Relationship

I dated a girl, and I didn’t know she was previously in an abusive relationship.

I thought she just REALLY hated high-fives.

Dad

When you end up pregnant...

Mom told me if a boy touched my breast I should say "DON'T," and if he touched me down there I should say "STOP." But Dad, he touched me both places at once so I said, "DON'T STOP! DON'T STOP!" 😂

Woman

What's the first thing that a battered woman does when she gets out of the shelter?

My last if she knows what's good for her.

Man

Roses are red, violets are blue, Old man Jeffrey touches the youth.

Orphan

So I punched an orphan...

What's he/she going to do? Tell his/her parents???

Priest

What’s the difference between acne and a Catholic priest?

Acne waits till you’re 13 to come on your face.

Priest

The priest wanted the little boy to touch his cross. The boy said, "It's hard." Then it shot out holy water, and the priest said, "Come again and taste the second cumming of Jesus, lmao."

Orphan

Orphans and punching bags are almost the same.

They both get hit, but a punching bag is still wanted.

Wife

My wife's always nagging me. "You don't let me have any friends, I abuse her, and I'm always coming back late." So I thought I would treat her. I popped up in the attic and introduced her to two women.

Egg

Why was the egg runny?

Because he'd just had sex with Jimmy Saville.

Priest

Q: What do priests have in common with McDonald's?

A: They both put their meat in 13-year-old buns.