Abuse jokes

What’s a pedophile’s favorite shoe? White vans.

Q: What did Chris Brown say when he first saw Rhianna?

A: I'd hit that.

What do a plastic bag and Jeffery Epstein have in common?

They're both dangerous to children.

What's the best thing about being a pedophile? You can choose the fit profession where you find kids most.

What's Michael Jackson's favorite thing to do on guitar?

Fingering A minor.

What do 100,000 battered women have in common? The bitch was wrong!

What is a pedophile's favorite piano note?

A Minor.

My mum touched my friend, but she wasn’t the she’s only 12.

Pedophiles are fucking immature assholes.

What is it called when you whoop a donkey?

A whooped ass and apparently some people get that everyday from their drunk dads.

What do you say to a woman who is completely beaten up on her face, full of bruises, and has a broken jaw?

"Will you listen now?!??"

What's a pedophile's favorite part of a hockey game? Before the first period starts.

On a hot summer's day, a famous celebrity tweeted, "It is a beautiful day, and I'm deciding which kid to have fun with today." To which the local priest replied, "I too am deciding which of your kids to have fun with today."

What do McDonald's and a priest have in common? They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.

How do you know you've found a priest? When little Timmy is glued to his crotch.

What's the difference between a broken shovel and a young child?

The shovel doesn't cry when you swing it into a wall repeatedly.

What do you call an all-you-can-eat buffet for a pedophile? A school bus.

Two teenagers were raping an 11-year-old girl in an alley, so I stepped in to help. The little bitch didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.

What did Chris Brown say when he saw Rihanna?

"I'd hit that."

Why do pedophiles never cum first?

Because they like to cum in a little behind.