Q: How many men does it take to open up a beer?
A: None. It should be opened by the time she brings it in.
Worst Jokes Ever
Why did the woman cross the road?
What’s she doing out of the kitchen in the first place?
I was at a bar. The girl said, "Sex, sex, free sex tonight," when she really said, "663629."
Yo mama so fat that when God said, "Let there be light," he asked her to move out the way.
Yo mama so disgusting that when she took a shower, the water turned into ditchwater.
You have 10 to live.
“Wait, as in 10 minutes?”
10, 9, 8...
Yo mama so fat, she the reason Dino's became extinct.
Yo mama so short, when she tried sniffing cocaine, she couldn’t get high.
Why are disabled people screwed?
Because you can't run or hide!
Your mama is so stupid, she put a ruler under her pillow to measure how long she slept.
I was playing laser tag with my ex, but I (wink) didn't realize I had a real gun.
Want one way to get a free haircut?
Call the cancer hotline.
For my girlfriend and friends to chat :)
What’s the best time to commit suicide?
8 a’glock in the morning.
Yo mama is so fat that Thanos had to snap his fingers twice to get her out of existence.
Yo mama so short that when she tried to sniff meth, she couldn’t get high.
What do you call a premature Chinese baby birth? Wong Tai-Ming.
I thought I saw a cool sticker on my office window, then I realized it was getting bigger and bigger.
If I were a history teacher, I’d make the two twins stand up and throw a paper airplane at them.
How to get rid of your depression:
1. Stop self-pitying.
2. Realize you can't.
3. Fucking deal with it.
You're welcome.
