Worst Jokes Ever

Why did Susie fall off the swing?

Because she didn't have any arms.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Not Susie.

RIP Stephen Hawking who was buried today... he did always love black holes.

I guess you could say Stephen Hawking is a dead meme.

What do you call a disabled Asian?

Sum Ting Wong.

Why aren't koalas actual bears?

Because they don't meet the koalafications.

You know when you sign up for something and it says "I'm not a robot"? I guess he never had the chance to tick that.

Women's rights.

Smaller babies may be delivered by a stork, but bigger ones need a crane.

How do you get a fat girl to bed? Piece of cake.

I knocked on Stephen Hawking's door, but nobody answered...

All I got was "error 404 page not found."

Him: *slowly drives past elementary school while looking at kids*

Her: Why are you staring at those kids? *jokingly* Are you like a pedophile or something?

Him: ... At least you know why I love calling you "baby" now~

So, Duracell batteries do run out.

I was talking to this absolutely gorgeous woman, and I asked her, “What do you do?” And she said, “I’m a brain surgeon.” And I don’t know if this makes me sexist or not, but I was really impressed.

Most women can’t pull off sarcasm.

What do French ducks say?

Quoi quoi.

Never invest in funerals. It's a dying industry.

Stephen Hawking just died. Have they tried rebooting him to factory settings?

Child predators: "You're so six-y."

His name rhymes with walking and talking, but he can’t do either.

A man tried to shoot Adolf Hitler, but missed. Then Adolf replied, "Oh shoot, I did nazi that coming!"

My girlfriend called me a pedophile, but what does she know? She's 7.