Worst Jokes Ever
If I wanted to kill myself, I would just climb up your ego and jump down to your IQ.
What do you call a skeleton's erection?
A boner.
Why haven’t any women gone to the moon?
A: It doesn’t need to be cleaned.
Shorts go up, pants go down. Body to body, skin to skin. When it's sniff, stick it in. It goes in dry and comes out wet, And the longer it's in, the stronger it gets. It comes out dripping and starts to sag.
It's not what you think it is. It's a Lipton tea bag.
Get your mind together!
How do you surprise a blind guy? Leave the plunger in the toilet.
Yo mama so fat, she is one of the boulders in Indiana Jones.
I just found out that there is a racist stereotype about Asians being bad drivers, which isn't true... but if it is, then maybe Pearl Harbor was just an accident.
Why can't George Floyd breathe? He had a knee on his neck, stupid.
What's the difference between an emo kid and a pack of Oreos? The bar code on the emo kid gets longer every day.
Three men walk into heaven at the same time. They all live in the same city. God asks the first man, "How did you die?" The man says, "I have a heart condition, and I've been suspecting my wife of cheating for some time. Anyway, I get home from work and I see my wife on the bed and a man hanging off the balcony. I get so mad and stomp on the guy's fingers! He falls into a bush, so I throw a refrigerator on him." God asks the next man, "How did you die?" The man says, "I was cleaning the windows, and then this crazy man starts stomping on my fingers! Luckily, I fall safely in a bush! But then a refrigerator falls on me!" God asks the third man, and he says, "I was the one in the fridge!"
Why be homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist when you can be quiet?
A necrophiliac woman goes over to her friend's house after hooking up.
"Was it hung?" her friend asks.
"No, he was shot."
How to punish a blind kid, rearrange his bedroom.
My son asked me what dark humor was, so I told him, "see that kid in the wheelchair, ask him to stand." He said, "But Dad I'm blind." Exactly.
What's the difference between a gay guy and a freezer? The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common? They both used their brains to paint the walls.
Why can't Stephen Hawking be a Rocket League car? Because he can't jump for an aerial.
KFC doesn't mean Kentucky Fried Chicken, it means "Kill Fat Children."
I told kids to make a family tree. God, I love working at the orphanages.
What’s the difference between an emo and grass? The grass doesn’t cut itself :D
An orphanage is like a horse rescue. You rescue them, rehabilitate them, then sell them for as much as possible.