Worst Jokes Ever
What goes zzub-zzub?
A bee flying backwards.
Why is parking a car like finding a girlfriend?
All the good ones are taken, so you stick it in the disabled one and hope nobody notices.
I started crying when my mom was cutting up onions.
Onions was a good dog.
After 40 years, Kobe finally learned to pass.
What's the similarity between a broken pencil and my life?
They're both pointless.
In Israel, they chop convicted rapists' balls off. Sure glad I don't live in Israel.
One day I came to my mom and said, "MOM!!! I can make a butterfly!"
Mom: "No you can't..."
Me: *throws butter out the window* Me: "Look I made a butterfly!"
lol this isn't funny but I hope you liked it.
Once I saw a girl crying and asked, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working at orphanages.
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They put her in a circle room and told her to find the penny in the corner.
What is the biggest joke ever? Trump.
Teacher: Okay class, what's a word that begins with A?
Student: Apple!
Teacher: Good! What's a word beginning with B?
Student:....Bitch...
Why doesn't Barbie ever get pregnant? Because Ken comes in a different box!
Have you ever noticed when a woman is pregnant, all her friends touch her stomach and say "congrats," but none of them touch the man's penis and say "well done?"
When a military person dies, we shoot all night. When a drunkard dies, we drink all night. When a Christian dies, we pray all night. What if a prostitute dies? What should we do? Please tell me.
Why doesn't Voldemort have a human nose?
Because his snake bit it off!
Three vampires walk into a bar. The first one orders a Bloody Mary. The second orders a Bloody Mary. The bartender turns to the third and asks, “A Bloody Mary?”
The vampire shakes his head. “Hot water for me.”
“Hot water?”
“I found a tampon out back and want to make tea.”
Biden is a joke. Trump is AMAZINGLY AWESOME!
1. You can't wash your eyes with soap.
2. You can't count your hair.
3. You can't breathe through your nose with your tongue out.
4. You just tried number three.
5. When you tried number 3, you realized it was possible, only you look like a dog.
6. You're smiling right now because you realized you were fooled.
7. You skipped number 5.
8. You just checked if there was a number 5.
9. This is not my joke; all credit goes to Steps.
About the guy who gave Stevie Wonder a cheese grater...
He thought it was the most violent book he'd ever read.
What do you call a Mexican's prison?
The border.