Worst Jokes Ever

What's one thing you can say about your house, but not your girlfriend?

I’m am very sad that you guys are making fun of adopted kids because I am adopted :( :( 😢 🥺 😢 😭😭

You know, you should adopt a pet. So then you can feel the pain that your parents felt when they adopted you... wait... also the regret after.

Why did the rapper bring a vacuum to the concert?

So the haters could SUCK on him!

What do you call a rapper who LOVES to fish?

MC Bassline.

Better Friday the 13th than Monday the 13th.

What does Jeffrey Dahmer and Travis Scott have in common?

Eight dead people.

Jill goes home one night with a guy she met at a club. He's tall, super hot, and seems different than most guys she meets. They arrive at his place and head straight to his room. Jill can't help but notice a shelf full of teddy bears. On the bottom are small teddy bears, on the middle are medium-sized teddy bears, and finally, on the top are large teddy bears, all lined up beside each other.

She begins to think that he is sentimental and sweet, and isn't afraid to show it. Her heart melts and she want to give him the best night of his life. She gives him a blowjob, and lets him really give it to her, and even takes it in the rear! In the morning, she slowly gets dressed, and smiles at him and asks, "How was that?" He nods and says, "Not too fuckin' bad at all. Help yourself to a prize on the second shelf!"

I only cut to find out if I'm real or cake.

Whenever your ex says, "You'll never find someone like me," the answer to that is, "That's the point."

A man and woman were having sex. After they were done, the man asks the woman, "Are you a nurse?" The woman answers, "Yes. How did you know?" The man replies, "Because you took care of me so well." Then the woman asks the man, "Are you an anesthesiologist?" He says proudly, "Yes. How do you know?" The woman answers, "Because I didn't feel a thing."

Frank: "I am named Frank because my grandpa lived in Frankfurt during his best years."

Finley: "I am named Finley because my grandmother was in Finland during her early twenties!"

Mia: "Can we please change the subject?"

They say there is strength in numbers. Tell that to the people in the World Trade Center.

How are corpses like pools?

Once you get in, it's only cold for like a minute.

Did you hear about that Muslim party?

It was a blast!

How is slavery different from Pokémon?

The types you can have.

A guy is sitting at a bar when a drunk man walks up to him, calling his mom a whore. The guy just ignores it and stays in his spot drinking his beer. An hour goes by and the drunk man comes back saying, "Your mom is a whore!" The guy sitting looks around the bar, sees people staring and says, "Don't worry, everything is cool here," and shrugs it off. After a few more shots, the drunk man walks up a third time and says, "Your mom... is such... a whore!" The guy finally gets mad, throws his fist on the table and says, "You know what? Go home Dad!"

A child and a child molester walk into a forest together. The child turns to the molester and says, "Boy, these woods are scary." The molester says to the child, "You think you're scared? I have to walk out of here alone."

Hi, I'm Adopt, and you guys hurt my feelings. It is not God :(😔😞😔🥺. I'm just a kid. I'm 7.

What do KFC and pussy have in common?

Both are finger lickin' good, and after you are done eating, you have a box to put the bone in.