Worst Jokes Ever
What happened when the emo kid tried to high 5 a tree?
It left him hanging.
Why couldn't the emo kid hang himself?
After eating through his feelings, the belt wouldn't fit around his neck.
What do JFK’s killer and a prostitute have in common?
“They both blow heads.”
Why do orphans want to be communist?
So they would have a motherland.
An old man walks to a busy restaurant. He tells the waiter what he wants and asks her, "Can I have a discount? I served in the war."
The waitress says, "Of course, and would you like that meal with sauce?"
"Nein," said the old man.
What does a mother fear most?
Hearing "YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER!" for 5 different men.
What is another name for a serial rapist? Short dress enthusiast.
"In my opinion, JFK was the best president."
"Why?"
"He was very open-minded!"
If a crippled man told stories about himself, would that be called VeggieTales?
What do you call a kid with Down syndrome trying to beat Minecraft?
“A sped runner.”
Q: What did Donald Trump say after America gave him the boot?
A: What am I supposed to do with one boot?
Twin Towers are like genders, there used to be 2.
What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange?
I don't keep a trash bag full of oranges in my basement.
What's the difference between an asshole and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
What do Hiroshima and Nagasaki share in common with balls?
They both drop.
What type of cookie has an orphan never had? Homemade cookies.
So I had a friend who was an orphan, and he said, "How's your girlfriend?" I said, "I don't have one." He said, "I know, just reminding you." I then said, "Hey, how's your parents?" I never saw him after that.
Your forehead [is] so big that if I drew an H on it, Kobe could have landed there.
Dark humor never gets old, like kids from Africa.
Jimmy Savile should have presented Pop off the Tops instead of Top of the Pops.