Why was Helen Keller's belly button bruised?
Her boyfriend was blind too.
Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a Catholic priest who molests children?
A Catholic priest.
When someone has an imaginary friend, you call them weird and crazy.
But when a group of people have an imaginary friend, you call it religion. :)
Knock knock. Who's there? Bear. Bear who? Bear bum!
Did you know that Germany came up with sparkling water?
Who else would think of adding gas?
The judge asked me, "How does 5 to 10 years sound?"
I said, "Sexy."
I can see your cameltoe, you nasty thot!
God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.
What did the Hiroshima survivor say about the day Little Boy dropped? "It was a blast!"
Why did the picture go to jail?
Cause it was framed!
Why is sex like math? You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there's no multiplying.
How do you get an emo out of a tree?
Cut the rope.
What's the difference between Jesus and the baby I have in my basement?
Jesus died a virgin.
How do you name a Chinese person?
You drop a metal spoon on a tile floor.
Kill yourself!
So, a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods.
Boy: "Hey mister, it's getting dark out and I'm scared!"
Man: "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"
Teacher: Kids, what are some things you have that make you happy? Kid 1: I have my family to make me happy. Kid 2: I have my friends to make me happy. Teacher: What about you, Sean? Sean: I have to take pills to make me happy...
Why is Stephen Hawking going to hell? Because it's a stairway to heaven, not a ramp!
Don't let an extra chromosome get you down.
What’s the difference between a doctor and a pedophile?
The doctor doesn’t enjoy giving physicals.
