Worst Jokes Ever

What does Madeleine McCann and my old Xbox have in common?

They both died with red rings.

Oh, fuckshit, bitch, damn cocksucker.

Pussy, asshole, cunt.

Mother fuckin' dirty whore, shat onto my lunch.

Pisscunt, damn bitch, suck my dick.

Jesus Harold Christ!

Shit bitch, cocksucker, Goddamn motherfucker, pussy, asshole cunt!

I'm not saying you're inbred. I'm just saying you're a textbook example of why consanguineous marriage might not be the best idea.

There was a man named Matt that went to the church to confess one of his most recent sins. He told the priest, "I am here to tell you my sins." He was all for it and said, "Go ahead."

Matt, "Father, last night I almost cheated on my wife."

Priest, "How so?"

Matt, "We were together naked, but we didn't do anything, just rubbed each other, that's all."

Priest, "RUBBING TOGETHER IS THE SAME THING AS PUTTING IT IN! For your sins you must never see that woman again and put $50 in the donation box!"

Matt, "Okay, I promise not to see her again."

Then Matt walks out the door.

Priest, "Hey! I saw you! You didn't put any money in the donation box!!"

Matt, "Yes I did. I took the money and rubbed it against the box because you said rubbing it is the same thing as putting it in."

What does LGBTQ+ mean? Is it the premium version of GAY?

Roses are red, violets are blue, like my hole, Uncle Bill is making me full, better run here he comes!

Roses are red, My c0ck is blue, Oh shit, what happened to you?

What do you call a cow in the snow?

Chilli Beef.

Your forehead is so big your inner thoughts echo.

How can you be friends with a pedophile that's a musician?

B minor.

If depression on crack fucked weed and 69 hours of not sleeping and had a baby with huge amounts of autism, that would be me.

I was happy to find I could get a passing grade in all my subjects if I had sex with my teacher, until I remembered I'm home schooled.

My grandpa may be a pedo, but at least he slows down in the school car park.

My grandpa killed 100 German soldiers; he was the worst German pilot ever.

Kenny was into incest until his mom died.

Now he's into necrophilia.

"Hee hee touched me."

Do you know the TV show "Naked and Afraid?" Well, that's what my grandpa and I played when I was young.

My name is Gwen, and I say rape jokes aren't funny. It's not funny for people to have sex with you without you agreeing. Also, they're getting old and NOT FUNNY! If anyone has something to say, please do. Comment if you agree or not. It's okay; I want to hear what you say. Just tell me if they are not funny.

We will have a contest to see how many people comment on saying they're good and funny, or people saying they're bad and terrible jokes and should not be made. May the best votes and comments win.

The orphan started crying at school when he got suspended and had to go home.

When the quiet kid tells you not to go to school the next day, but your mom makes you go anyway.