Worst Jokes Ever
What is the best way to get gum out of your hair?
Cancer.
Your mom is like a penny: two-faced, flat, and always in someone's pants.
Me: Can I get your mom's number?
Friend: Here you go:
Me: Ohh, strange, I already had it.
People keep telling me that I should stop making sh jokes... bro it's not that deep.
Did you eat Chef Boyardee's food?
No, why?
Boy are deez nuts so big.
what song did people in Hiroshima listen to?
"Here Comes the Sun."
Friend: “What's that on your arm?”
Me: “Oh, nothing. Just decided I wanted to cosplay a tiger.”
A toddler was giving her daddy a tea party.
She brought him a little cup of "tea" which was just water, of course. After several cups of tea, her Mom came home. Dad made her wait in the living room to watch his little Princess bring him a cup of tea, because it was, "Just the cutest thing!" Mom waited, and sure enough, here she come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy. She watches him drink it up and then says, "You know the only place she can reach water, is the toilet!"
Don't see why people say that babysitting a toddler is hard. You just grease the bathtub, put them inside with some food and drink, and go do your business. I guarantee you that they will still be there when you return.
If you stay in the house, you might need to use sound cancelling headphones too, though.
My poem, roses are red, violets are blue. I will die very soon. 🔪
There's a kid with loads of new firemen equipment and sees a fire engine go past and the kid asks the firemen, "Come have a look at my new gear." So the firemen go look at his gear, so then the kid says:
"I've got a helmet, a big jacket, and an oxygen tank, and a little wheelbarrow for my gear."
Firemen say: "Why is there a rope tied around a cat's balls?"
The kid says, "So I can have a siren nnnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn"
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and an airplane landing strip? Don't know, neither did my dad.
If you think the guy calling you fat is offensive,
Try salad 🥗.
If at first you don’t succeed... then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.
Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick Jill’s candy, but Jack had a shock with a mouth full of cock cause Jill’s real name was Randy.
With a tight cheeked fanny and shlong expandy, Jack’s face turned uncanny. Off he ranny to tell granny his best friend was a tranny.
What do you call a Barbie doll that’s wearing scrubs?
A plastic surgeon. 😷
What a world we live in. Now we’re making jokes about anorexic people.
EatDatPussy445, aka Deyione Scott-Wilson Eason, aka Bryant Turman Emerson Moreland, is a pedophile, and he is in Las Vegas right now. Go, go, go, catch him!
Why did the emo kid like the all black Oreos?
'Cause they're dark.
Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? She will let it go.