People who are afraid of pedophiles... need to grow up.
Worst Jokes Ever
I have just started a sexual relationship with a blind woman. It's very rewarding, but quite challenging.
Took me ages to get her husband's voice right.
Why do Mexicans always cross the border in twos?
Because the sign says "No Tres passing."
Since it started raining, all my wife has done is look sadly through the stupid window. If it gets any worse, I'll have to let her in.
I thought of having a threesome, but then I realized that if I wanted to disappoint two people at one time I might as well have dinner with my parents.
I was sitting next to this really hot Thai girl on the bus, and all I could think to myself was, "Don't get an erection, don't get an erection..." But she did.
My town's population never changes. Every time a girl gets pregnant, a guy leaves town.
If Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are in a boat and it capsizes. Who survives? -- America.
My girlfriend treats me like God. -- She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.
Today I was asked to go out by 20 girls. -- I was in the women's bathroom.
I think my coworkers are gay. -- Every time I walk by, they mumble, "What an ass."
Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys. -- I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
Tits are like Lego bricks. They're there for the kid, but dad ends up playing with them.
I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant, but apparently it just changes the color of the baby.
5 out of 6 scientists say Russian Roulette is safe.
Why didn't anyone react when the king farted? -- It was a noble gas.
What's the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi? -- People in Dubai don't like the Flintstones but people in Abu Dhabi doooo.
9 out of 10 Americans are stupid... I'm so glad I'm in the 1%.
What's the difference between a hippie chick and a hockey player? The hockey player showers after 3 periods.
Apparently, Monica Lewinsky didn't vote for Hillary Clinton this election. She said the last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in her mouth.
