Worst Jokes Ever
Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought Voldemort was ugly, but then I met you.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
The chicken next to him farted.
Why did the Indian cross the road?
Because he opened a corner shop on the other side.
What did Hellen Keller do when she fell in a hole?
She screamed until her hands got tired.
Guess what?
Good guess.
Why did Adolf Hitler like nuts? He only had one.
What does a pregnant teen and an aborted child have in common?
They both say, “My mom's gonna kill me!”
An old woman goes to the doctor complaining of extremely smelly gas.
"I don't understand it, Doc," she said, "I have this terrible, terrible gas." "Thankfully," she added, "they are at least silent when I fart."
Doctor hands her a bottle of pills, tells her take them all and then come back to see him.
The old woman returned a short time later extremely mad. "I took those pills like you said and not only is my gas smelly, but now when I fart they are obnoxiously loud!", she yelled.
The doctor said, "well, now that we've solved your hearing problem, let's see what we can do about that gas".
My husband told me to make him a sandwich. I was looking online for some comebacks. Someone online said, "You better come back with a goddamn sandwich!"
Why wasn’t the cheese 🧀 happy?
It was blue 😔.
What do ghosts put on their bagels 🥯?
Scream cheese.
Someone asked me if I've ever tried to kill myself. I responded, "Absolutely. A few times actually. I'm just not very good at it."
I love ❤️ going to school 🏫.
What time is it when you walk out to the school?
Time to go to school!
Please stop using this thread. It is cancer.
Do you know why I wish grass was emo? So it can cut itself.
Why did Ms. Grapes 🍇 want to marry Mr. Grapes 🍇?
Because she loves raisin kids.
What do mice eat for dinner?
Mac n Cheese.
My doctor told me that I had to burn calories, so I took a fat kid and lit them on fire
How to tell your kid he's adopted:
Son, I'm a virgin.