I saw a man sitting on the ledge of a bridge the other day, and asked him what was wrong. He responded with nobody loves me, so i told him that may be true but you dont wanna kill yourself you want to die of old age, or at least be murdered, suicide is for the weak. he responded with your right so I pushed him over the bridge, and he died of murder
Worst Jokes Ever
My friend got mad when he caught me smelling his sister's panties. I don't know why he was mad, maybe because she was wearing them, or because his whole family was watching. Either way, it made the funeral a bit awkward.
What do you call a bunch of white people in an elevator?
A box of crackers.
Who were the fastest runners ever? Adam and Eve. They were first in the human race.
I will always remember my grandpa's last words: "Stop shaking the ladder, you cunt!"
Who's the fastest reader?
Me, 'cause I'll be jumping off so many stories.
So my friend and I went camping at a Cold Lake Campground and he jumped into it without any warning, and so I asked him, "Wat-er you doing?"
I saw a man trying to rape a girl. I decided to help. She didn't stand a chance against both of us.
Chimmy: (smoking because of fireplace)
Chimmy2: You're too young to smoke.
What is the best cure for aging?
Suicide.
Children should never run with scissors, and lesbians should never scissor with the runs.
What's a similarity between your best friend and a tree?
They both fall over when you hit them with an axe.
Stephen Hawking died because he accidentally lost his bluetooth connection.
Come on guys, please let's play Roblox. My name is xX_robloxGamer420Po_Xx.
You’re Russian when you go to the bathroom and Finnish when you come out. What are you in the bathroom?
European.
I love Muslims, they are great at parties!
They have the best fireworks.
When you send her a dick pic, but then she sends you one right back...
What do you call a white man in court?
SUPERIOR!
Why do Down's kids blend in in geometry?
Their foreheads are angled.
Q: Why do Norwegian ships have bar codes on them?
A: So when they come into port they can Scan-Da-Navy-In!
